Playing With Fire
by Casey's Cupcake
Summary: Things couldn't have been better for Maddy until she received the devastating news that her beloved father had been taken ill. Bolstered by the love and support of her friend, Em Morrison and her fiance, Matt Casey, she finds the courage and strength to get through it...until she's plagued by strange occurences that could be mean more trouble. Sequel to "Afterburn".
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

…_.beep beep...whoosh whoosh...blip blip...whoosh whoosh...beep beep...whoosh whoosh... _

I had fallen asleep and woken up to those same sounds now for over a week. I had been keeping vigil at my father's bedside ever since he had been brought in to the emergency room at Lakeshore. He had suffered a massive heart attack at Wrigley Field and was now in a coma. The sounds of the machines were all the evidence I had that he was still alive right now. It was still dark outside the window of his room when I lifted my head from the bottom of his bed. I rubbed at my stiff neck as I moved towards the head of his bed and picked up his hand.

"Please wake up, Daddy...there's so much I need to tell you," I said softly. Tears began to fall down my cheeks as they had every day since he had been here. If it hadn't been for Matthew this past week, I don't know what I would have done. He brought me clean clothes and made sure I ate because I refused to leave the hospital. I had been sleeping on the couch in my office at night. When I couldn't sleep, I would try to get some work done so I didn't feel like I was slacking off.

"Go home, Madster...get some proper rest," I heard a familiar voice say from behind me. I turned to see Em standing there, holding two cups of coffee and a box of Dunkin' Donuts.

"One of those had better be a frosted jelly-filled," I said, taking one of the cups from her.

"Ummm...yeah, I don't have a death wish," she said as she opened the box.

"What are you doing here so early?" I asked, taking a bite of donut.

"You're my best friend, Mads. You're hurting and I'm being supportive...like best friends are supposed to do," she said.

"Seems like I'm always hurting lately. Maybe I wasn't meant to be happy," I said, staring out the window.

"Of course you were meant to be happy! You're not thinking straight, Mads. You need to get away from here...for a little while anyway," she said.

"You're starting to sound like Matthew now," I said. I looked at my watch...6:15 AM. He'd be getting off shift in a couple of hours and he'd be coming straight here and start pleading with me to come home with him.

"We both love you, Mads...we just want what's best for you," she said.

"What's best for me is my father getting better and being able to give me away at my wedding. He doesn't even know that Matthew and I are engaged," I said.

"He will...have faith, Mads," she said.

"Why does everyone keep telling me that? I do have faith...I've always had faith! It just hasn't served me very well. Every time I have faith that my life is going right, something like this happens. Every time, Em," I said, crying again.

"Mads, you're exhausted. You're not making any sense. Please go home and get some sleep. I'll stay here with your Dad if you want," said Em, giving me a hug.

A took a deep breath in and blew it out slowly, trying to steady my nerves and stop myself from crying before Matthew arrived. I couldn't let him see me crying again. It would strengthen his argument that I needed to distance myself from the hospital. In truth, he was right and my argument to stay was weakening. Em was right, too. I was exhausted both physically and mentally and a few hours away was probably something that I needed to gain some perspective. I hated when other people knew what was better for me than I did. It reminded me too much of being married to Stephen. He loved to tell me what I should do and when I should do it. I think that's why I purposely bucked against anyone who tried to do that now, even when they had my best interests in mind.

"How's my girl?" I suddenly heard Matthew's voice speaking softly in my ear. He slipped his arms around my waist from behind and pulled me in close. He smelled freshly showered and the scent of his cologne filled my head. It was comforting in a strange way; almost like a measure of how happy he made me.

"You're here early," I said without turning around.

"Boden let me leave a couple of hours early...for you," he said.

"For me? Why?" I asked.

"Because he knows you're father is sick and he knows I want to be with you," he said. I wasn't sure that I liked the guys at the firehouse knowing my business. I suppose it was something I had to get used to. They were Matthew's other family.

"Thank fuck you're here, Casey. Maybe you can talk some sense into her," said Em, in her inimitable way.

"I'd blow raspberries at you, but I'm too damn tired," I said.

"You need to come home with me, Maddy. Your father would want you to take care of yourself, too. You know he would," he said, turning me around and looking straight into my eyes. He was right. My father was always concerned about my well being, above anything else.

"And you look like shit, Madster," said Em. I was too tired to even give her a dirty look. She was right anyway.

"OK, alright...I give up. I'll go home, but only for a few hours. I can't win with the both of you on my case," I said. I walked over to the side of my father's bed and picked up his hand again. Matthew stood close behind me with his arm around my lower back.

"I'll be back soon, Daddy. I just need to get a few hours of sleep. Em is here with you and she'll call me if you need me. I love you," I said as I kissed his hand. It was probably my imagination, but I could swear I felt him squeeze my hand a little before I put it back down on the bed.

I fell asleep in Matthew's truck as we drove home. I dreamt that I was standing on the edge of a cliff in a long white dress and I was throwing flowers into the water below it. I woke with a start as Matthew put his hand on my shoulder. My legs felt like leaden weights as I climbed the front steps of my house.

"I'm going to make you a cup of tea and run a hot bath for you. No arguments," said Matthew as he pointed to the couch and disappeared into the kitchen. A few minutes later, he came back with the tea and headed upstairs to run my bath. I rifled through the stack of papers and mail that had accumulated on my coffee table over the last few days, but my eyes could barely focus on any of it. I kicked off my shoes and sat cross legged on the couch, sipping my tea until I heard Matthew calling me to come upstairs. I could barely lift my legs as I climbed each step, feeling the fatigue in every inch of my body. As I walked into our bedroom, I could smell the jasmine scented bath water permeating the room. Matthew emerged from the en suite and walked over to where I was standing.

"Let me help," he said as he pulled my shirt over my head and unzipped my jeans. I could barely move to help him. I felt as helpless as a newborn kitten. He took me by the hand and led me into the bathroom. He had lit several candles around the edge of the tub and had soft music playing.

"Impressive, Casey," I said, weakly. He said nothing as he unhooked my bra and slipped my panties down over my hips and onto the floor.

"Get in," he ordered.

"Wow, Casey...both breasts exposed and you didn't even try to cop a feel. Em was right...I must really look like shit," I said, grinning slightly. He scowled at me, lifted me up and sat me in the bath. I was too weak to resist or even squeal.

"There. Now soak while I make some breakfast," he said, squatting down beside the tub. I cupped his face in my wet hand and looked at him for a few seconds.

"What?" he finally said.

"Just..." I said before feeling the tears fall again.

"I know, baby," he whispered as he kissed the palm of my hand. He left the bathroom and I closed my eyes and sank deeper into the warm water and bubbles. I drifted off to sleep to the sound of Michael Buble singing "Lost".

"Breakfast is ready, sleepy head," I heard Matthew say as he turned off the music and blew out the candles. I woke with an embarrassed jump, washed my face and hair, then climbed out of the bath and into the big fluffy towel that Matthew was holding out for me. He wrapped it around me, then pulled the ends of it towards him until the front of me was against the front of him.

"You're gonna get wet," I said as I looked up into his beautiful blue-green eyes.

"I don't care," he said just before he planted a tender kiss on my mouth. It seemed like forever since we kissed like this. He had moved most of his things into my house over the last week but I had spent every night at the hospital since he did. I hadn't spent any time at home with him since my father was taken ill. He was taking such good care of me that I felt pangs of guilt now for having neglected him. Despite my fatigue, I could feel my body respond to his touch until he suddenly stopped kissing me.

"Food's getting cold," he said. I reluctantly let go of him and began rifling through my dresser drawers for something to wear. I picked out a long light pink chemise with spaghetti straps, pulled it over my head, combed my hair through and slowly walked downstairs to the dining room. I picked up the mail and newspapers from the coffee table on my way and looked through it while I sat at the dining room table.

"C'mon Maddy...no bills, no business...I want you to turn that pretty little head of yours off for a little while," said Matthew as he set a plate of pancakes and sausage in front of me.

"Yes sir, Lieutenant," I said saluting him. I usually didn't tolerate being bossed around, but I knew Matthew's intentions were good. I devoured my breakfast in record time, practically licking the plate clean. I washed it down with a large glass of orange juice. I was amazed at how much better I felt with a full stomach, but I was still bone tired and in need of sleep. I yawned as I picked up the mail again as Matthew cleared the dishes from the table. I started to open one from what looked like a law firm in Manhattan when Matthew suddenly appeared.

"Madeleine Elizabeth...what did I just say?" he asked, putting his hand on his hips in exasperation. I was too tired to argue. I threw the envelope down on the table and got up from my chair, poking my tongue out at him. Matthew suddenly grabbed me and flung me over his shoulder.

"What the hell are you doing?" I squealed as he carried me upstairs.

"This is what's known as a fireman's lift and I'm a fireman. It's bed time, Ms. Coventry-Soon-To-Be-Casey," he said as he finally set me down on the floor of our bedroom. He was huffing slightly and grinning from ear to ear.

"Smug fireman, aren't you?" I said, looking at his beautiful face and feeling my desire for him surface again. My mood suddenly went from sarcastic to serious as the reality of the last week came crashing back at me. Being away from the hospital made me realize just how important Matthew was to me. He had been so wonderful this past week and I had been a miserable, neglectful cow in return. I hadn't even wanted to discuss any details of our wedding because I couldn't bear the thought that my father may not live to see it. I was being a devoted daughter, but an unappreciative fiancee.

"I am when I get you to do what I want you to. You're not often easily persuaded to do anything," he said, taking off his shirt and tossing it on the overstuffed chair in the corner. I watched him in silence as he took off his jeans and started back towards the bathroom. I touched him on the arm as he brushed past me.

"Matthew..." I said softly. He stopped and turned towards me. I took his face in my hands and kissed him...slowly at first, then more urgently as I felt him respond to me. I stopped momentarily to look at him. God, he was gorgeous.

"Maddy...?" Matthew said, puzzled that I pulled away from his mouth.

"Make love to me, Matthew," I said, pulling the spaghetti straps to my chemise down over my arms.

"You're so tired, baby...I..." he said, gently caressing my shoulders. He seemed so uncertain that it almost broke my heart. I was angry at myself for making him think I didn't want him. I always wanted him...always.

"I need to feel something other than fear and anger and sadness...I need you to wrap me in your arms so I can let it all go...please," I said, tears gently falling from my eyes.

"Maddy...my beautiful, sweet impossible Maddy," he said as he pulled at the straps of my gown and let it drop to the floor at my feet. His hands cupped my bare breasts as my hands reached down the back of his boxer briefs. He pulled them off, then gently lifted me in his arms, his mouth never leaving mine. He laid down between my legs as I opened them wider for him. His mouth moved from mine, down to my neck and breasts. I arched my back as he sucked each of my nipples into his mouth. My fingers grasped at his hair as he moved across my body, my flesh tingling everywhere he touched me. As his mouth found mine again, he entered me slowly, pushing himself in further as his tongue swept my mouth. I moaned into his mouth as he thrust slowly and deliberately. I held onto his shoulders as he moved, looking directly into his eyes as we made love. I pulled my knees back towards my head, allowing him to push deeper into me. His eyes never left mine, his gentle but urgent movements bringing me closer and closer to the sweet release I needed so badly.

"Let it go, Maddy...come for me," he said softly. My body exploded into orgasm as soon as he spoke, my body bucking underneath him as my nails dug into the skin of his shoulders. He groaned as I ripped at his skin, the muscles of his torso tightening just before he came. He let out a guttural sound as he shuddered and emptied inside me. I erupted in tears as the last of our orgasms faded. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me again. The tenderness of his touch, his patience with me and the amazing way he loved me made me feel whole again and had somehow renewed my emotional strength, despite the flood of tears.

I snuggled in close to his body, burying my face in his neck. I reveled in his scent and the feel of his arms around me. As I laid in his arms, I realized that I had to learn to give him more instead of pulling away from him when things were difficult. I was so used to retreating into myself when times were bad. Stephen had never been much of a support and after we divorced, I had had no one but myself to rely on.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," I said. I was almost half asleep but I needed to tell him just how special he was to me.

"You'll never have to," he said.

"Matthew?" I said.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"How many babies should we have?" I said. I needed him to know that even though I hadn't wanted to talk about our wedding, I still thought about our life together. It was the only thing keeping me sane at the moment. He suddenly shifted his position, rolling me over on my back and looking at me intently.

"As many as you want to give me," he said as his eyes met mine.

"Right now, I'd give you a dozen and name them all after donuts...if that's what you wanted," I said, totally serious. I wanted to give him everything he wanted.

"We're gonna need a bigger house," he said, grinning.

"And I'm gonna need the name of a good plastic surgeon," I said.

"Can you imagine just how beautiful our babies will be?" he said, his eyes brimming with tears.

"I've imagined it many times, even when we weren't together...especially when we weren't together," I said, crying softly yet again.

"You've made me so happy, Maddy...happier than I ever thought possible," he said.

"And you are everything to me, Matthew...never doubt that," I said. He kissed me softly and held me tight against him.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," I said. Then the world was quiet for a while.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

I woke feeling groggy and unsure of where I was. I was used to opening my eyes and seeing the view from the couch in my office at Lakeshore. When I realized I was in my own bed, I turned and reached for Matthew, but to my disappointment he wasn't there. I momentarily snuggled back down in the covers and enjoyed Matthew's scent on the pillows as I closed my eyes for a few more minutes. I felt more rested than I had in over a week, but I still needed several nights of uninterrupted sleep. I grabbed my cell phone from the bedside table. It was 3:20 PM. I had slept for almost six hours. No messages from Em either which meant all was status quo at the hospital. I laid there for a few more minutes admiring my engagement ring, when I suddenly heard muffled shouting from downstairs. I got out of bed and walked to the bedroom door as I pulled on my chemise. I opened it a crack and listened.

"You must be out of your mind!" I heard Matthew yell. I waited for another voice to answer him but it didn't. I waited a few more seconds, then heard him yell again. He was obviously on the phone with someone.

"I don't give a good goddamn if you're considered the best attorney in New York! These claims are false and any self-respecting judge would laugh him and you out of court," he continued as I listened with interest. It must be something to do with his mother. That was the only explanation. I'm sure there were tons of other legal issues when she was imprisoned and now that she was out of jail, something must have cropped up again. Matthew and I hadn't really talked too much about his mother. I suspected it was still difficult for him for many reasons and I respected that. When he was ready to open up to me about it, I would be ready to listen. I quietly closed the door and took a few things out of the closet and began to get dressed. As I was pulling my t-shirt over my head, I could hear Matthew coming up the stairs.

"You're up! Did you sleep well?" he said as he came into the bedroom.

"Yeah, I did...I actually feel better," I said, tucking my cell phone into the pocket of my jeans.

"See? I told you," he said, taking me in his arms.

"Yeah yeah," I said, just before he kissed me.

"What are you going to do now?" he asked.

"Cook...I think. I want to cut some herbs from the garden...maybe bake something. What about you? Is everything...cool?" I said, hoping he would refer to the phone call earlier.

"Yeah...everything is good. I'm gonna take some measurements in the bathroom for that garden tub you want...maybe start that project," he said.

"So you'll be here with me all day?" I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him again.

"Yep...I'm all yours," he said.

"Good...cos I've kinda missed you lately," I said.

"I've kinda missed you too," he said, giving my behind a slap before I headed out the door and down the stairs.

I went out the back door and into the garage to look for a good size basket to fill with tomatoes, basil, chives, thyme, parsley and a few daisies. I stood in the warmth of the afternoon sun and closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of everything around me. I felt rested and alive for the first time in over a week. When my basket was full, I headed into the kitchen with my bounty and unloaded it all on the counter. After a few minutes of flipping through my recipe books, I decided to make a bolognese sauce, homemade herb focaccia and strawberry shortcake. I had been so busy with my new job that I hadn't really had time to cook and as I set about my kitchen preparing everything, I realized how much I missed it...and how much I needed it. Cooking was the perfect distraction. It also relaxed me, which was odd. I felt completely at ease whenever I cooked a big meal or made a fancy dessert. My mother had hated to cook and it showed in whatever she made for us. At a very young age, I decided that cooking would not be a chore for me...nor would I make the people I loved feel like they weren't worth the effort.

I put the daisies in a vase and set in it in the middle of the dining room table, then chopped the herbs and mixed together the dough for the focaccia and placed it on the oven to rise. I quickly threw together the biscuits for the shortcake and put them in the oven as I took inventory in my refrigerator and pantry. I decided to walk to the little Italian market in my neighborhood when the biscuits were done. I made a list of the things I needed...pancetta, fettuccini, strawberries and heavy cream. I grabbed my purse and called up the stairs to tell Matthew where I was going. He appeared at the top of the stairs with a pencil behind his ear and a toothpick in his teeth.

"Don't be gone too long, baby...I like playing house with you," he said. I blew a kiss to him before walking out the front door. It was a gorgeous afternoon and the market was a only a few blocks away. I found myself humming as I walked down the sidewalk and past the neighboring houses. The sounds of the neighborhood filled my ears as I walked...birds chirping, barking dogs, buzzing lawn mowers and lots of children laughing. I began to think again about having babies with Matthew and I felt an unexpected jolt of excitement at the idea. I had wanted children when I was younger, but quickly changed my mind when I married Stephen. He wasn't "father material", as my mother had said. Of course, I never gave her the satisfaction of knowing she was right about him. Just before I turned the corner to go south for the last two blocks, I could feel my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. I stopped and pulled it out to answer it. I saw it was Em and felt my heart stop.

"Hey Mads...I just wanted to tell you that I've been called away to a case in the ER, but Jimbo is resting comfortably, OK? So don't worry...he's in good hands," she said.

"OK...but you just scared the crap out of me," I said as my heart pounded out of my chest.

"Oh shit...sorry. Did you get some rest, babes?" she asked.

"Yeah...I had a nice bath and Matthew made me breakfast. Then we slept for about six hours. I'm feeling a little better. I'm on my way to Roma's now to get a few things for dinner," I said.

"Knowing you and Casey, I'll bet you didn't just sleep," she said. I could almost see the stupid grin on her face as she said it.

"Thanks for sitting with him, Em...I really appreciate it," I said, changing the subject.

"Any time, babes...you'd do it for me...I know you would," she said.

"Fucking - a - right, Morrison," I said.

"Yeah...you're feeling better...I can tell. These last 8 or 9 hours with Casey is just what you needed," she said.

"You're right...and I get to spend the rest of my life with him. Lucky me," I said, sounding happier than even I expected.

"OK, babes...see you later. Love you lots," she said as she made kissing noises before ending the call. She was unique, that one. I tucked my phone back in my pocket and as I started walking, I noticed a black Lincoln Town Car following slowly behind me. I turned to see who was driving, but the windows were tinted. It followed me to the corner and as I turned, it continued straight down my street. I watched it for a few minutes until it was out of sight, then continued on my way to the market.

"Hey, Tony," I said to the man behind the deli counter as I walked into the store. Tony Romano was the owner of Roma's Italian Market and was one of the nicest guys in the world. He was tall muscular man with a shock of jet black hair on his head that I'd guessed continued to the rest of his body judging by his forearms.

"Hey Miss Madeleine! Where have you been? I gotta nice pepperoni here just for you," he said, grinning. He was always full of harmless innuendo and he made me giggle.

"I'm engaged to a nice Irish boy now, Tony... so the only pepperoni you've got that I want is on a pizza," I said, showing him my ring.

"Yeah, yeah...story of my life. All the pretty blonde girls are taken. Holy Toledo! That's some piece of ice!," he said.

"Well...he's some piece of man. Half a pound of pancetta, Tony...and slice it thick for me," I said, before leaving the deli counter to get the rest of the things on my list. I gathered what I needed and headed back to the deli to get my meat.

"Find everything you need?" the cashier asked. Her name was Annette and she was Tony's niece. Her eyes darted around the store like she was on the lookout for someone.

"Yeah I did. Is everything OK, Annette? You look...out of sorts," I asked.

"I should be asking you that," she said in a hushed tone.

"Why? Apart from my father being in the hospital, I couldn't be better," I said.

"There was a man in here looking for you a short time ago...I think he's gone, but he scared me," she said, leaning in close and whispering.

"Scared you? Why? Did he say what he wanted?" I asked, now looking over my shoulder.

"No...he just asked if I knew you, but I played dumb. I just didn't like the looks of him,. I told Uncle Tony. He's gonna keep an eye out," she said as she bagged up my groceries. On the walk home, I tried to think of who it could be. When I was a social worker in Westchester County, I would occasionally be stalked by angry family members when I had to remove a child from the home. I had had no such experiences since working at Lakeshore but I suppose there is always a first time for everything. I pushed it out of my mind as I walked the rest of the way home. Matthew was taking stuff out of the back of his truck as I came up the driveway.

"There's my girl," he said. A huge smile broke across his face when he saw me which made my heart melt. His smile got me everytime.

"I love it when you say that," I said, stopping for a quick kiss before going inside.

"You've always been my girl," he said.

"And you've always been my guy," I said as I walked up the back steps.

"I'm going to order your new tub and get a few supplies. I should be be back in about an hour," he said, walking to the bottom of the back steps.

"And I'll be here cooking my behind off," I said. He suddenly jumped the steps and pulled me to him, squeezing my behind.

"It's such a lovely behind too," he said, kissing me again. I watched him as he ran back down the stairs and got into his truck. I was grinning like an idiot the entire time. Maybe I was meant to be happy after all. He and Em were right; I needed to get away from the hospital to gain a little perspective and it certainly felt good.

For the next hour, I busied myself by slicing strawberries, making the bolognese sauce , whipping fresh cream and finishing the focaccia. As the sauce was simmering and the pasta was boiling, I thought I heard Matthew come home. I went to out onto the back porch to greet him, but didn't see his truck. As I walked down the stairs to peer around into the driveway, I saw a dark figure run out from the far side of my car, down the driveway and around towards the front of the house.

"Hey!" I called as I began to foolishly run after whoever it was. As I rounded in front of the house, I saw the same black Lincoln I had seen on my way to Roma's pull away and speed down the road. I tried to see its license plate but it was moving too quickly. I could feel the fear setting in now and prayed that Matthew would come home soon. I walked back into the house and locked the doors behind me. I stood in the kitchen finishing dinner, waiting for the sound of Matthew's truck to pull into the driveway and jumping at every other sound I heard. As I was setting the table for dinner, I heard Matthew come in the back door. I practically jumped into his arms.

"Hey...what's this for? Not that I'm complaining," he said as I grabbed him round the neck.

"Nothing...just missed you," I said as I let go of him again.

"Dinner smells amazing, Maddy. Seriously...why didn't you become a chef ? You always wanted to," he asked.

"My mother talked me out of it. She talked me out of a lot of things I wish she hadn't," I said as I poured two glasses of Prosecco.

"Like...?" Matthew asked.

"Like...believing at the age of seventeen that you were the guy I was destined to marry. She told me it was just a schoolgirl crush and not to be taken seriously," I said, handing one glass to Matthew.

"If she could only see us now," said Matthew.

"Yeah...if only. If you're ready, I want to set the date for our wedding," I said. Matthew suddenly choked on his wine.

"Ready? I've been ready for sixteen years Maddy," he said, wiping his mouth

"Let's do it then," I said. Whether or not my father lived to see it, Matthew and I would be married, come hell or high water.

"Have you given any thought as to what kind of wedding you want?" he asked as he helped me bring our dinner into the dining room.

"Part of me wants to keep it small...family... a few close friends...but the other part of me wants to do it up big...formal invitations, catered, big white dress. What do you want" I said.

"I say we do both. Keep the ceremony small and intimate and have a hell of a party afterwards. I think we both deserve to celebrate big," he said, holding up his wine glass.

"Done! Now the question is when," I said, clinking my glass to his.

"The sooner, the better," he said with a smile.

"How about October 19th? You're off that weekend and it gives us exactly four months," I said, looking at the wall calendar in the kitchen. Four months wasn't really enough time to plan a wedding, but it would give me enough to do to keep my mind occupied.

"So four months from now, you'll officially be mine," said Matthew, picking up my hand and kissing the back of it.

"I've always been yours, Matthew," I said quietly.

"Yes...but unofficially," he said, taking my hand in his.

As we were clearing the dishes from the table, I could feel my phone vibrating in the pocket of my jeans. I didn't immediately recognize the number.

"May I speak with Madeleine Coventry, please?" a vaguely familiar female voice said.

"This is she," I said.

"Madeleine, this is Marcia Darrah, the RN Charge for the Critical Care Unit at Lakeshore," she said. I had spoken to her many times since my father was brought into the hospital. My heart began to pound.

"Yes," I managed to squeak out.

"Madeleine, your father has come out of the coma. He's asking for you," she said.

"Oh my God... I'll be there in half an hour," I said. I looked up from my phone to see Matthew staring at me intently.

"Baby?" he said tentatively.

"He's awake, Matthew," I said with tears streaming down my face. Matthew walked up to me and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Oh, baby...I'm so happy. This has been a hell of a day...for both of us," he said.

"He's asking for me," I said.

"Let's go," said Matthew, grabbing my car keys and my hand. We walked out to the driveway and as I came around the passenger side of my car, I noticed the front tire was flat.

"What's wrong?" asked Matthew as he came around the front of the car.

"That," I said, pointing at the deflated tire.

"I wonder how that happened? We'll have to take my truck. I'll fix that when we get back," he said.

We climbed into Matthew's truck and as we drove through the streets of Chicago, all I could think about was seeing my father's face and hearing his voice again. I tried to push the memory away of the hooded figure in my driveway and the flat tire on my car and just focus on how happy I was now. No matter what Em had said, there always seemed to be something holding me back from being totally at peace.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

I bolted from Matthew's truck like a bullet from a gun as soon as he put it in park. I ran into the front entrance and straight to the elevators, pounding on the up button over and over and getting impatient that it wasn't coming quick enough. After a few curse words, I made a beeline to the staircase and sprinted up the three flights of stairs as fast as my feet would carry me. I opened the door to the third floor so hard that it banged against the stairwell wall, catching the attention of two novice nurses and a housekeeper who were standing near the nurse's station. They watched with slack jaws as I ran past them and down the east wing to the CCU. I stopped outside my father's room, bent over with my hands on my knees, huffing and puffing and cursing Kelly Severide for distracting me from my routine running for the three months we dated. After a minute or two, I caught my breath and walked inside.

"Baby girl...you look terrible," my father said weakly. The head of his bed was elevated slightly and he was wearing an oxygen mask. He looked pale but had a broad smile on his face and that familiar sparkle in his eye.

"You...you look...amazing," I said, sitting carefully on the side of his bed.

"No tears now...c'mon and give your old Dad a hug," he said. He sat up slightly and I wrapped my arms around him cautiously. He still had an IV in his left arm and electrodes hooked up to his chest. As his big arms cradled me, I instantly became that six year old girl in pigtails being comforted by her biggest hero.

"How are you feeling, Daddy?" I asked, wiping a few tears away.

"Like I've been hit by this fella's fire truck," he said. I turned around to see Matthew standing just inside the doorway.

"You gave us quite a scare, Jim. I thought your little girl here was going to self-destruct," said Matthew as he bent down to hug my dad.

"I'm sure you took good care of her, Matt," said my father.

"He did, Daddy...he took very good care of me," I said, taking his hand in mine.

"Is this what I think it is?" said my father, holding up my left hand in front of his face.

"Yes, Daddy," I said.

"Matt?" my father looked at him quizzically.

"Yes sir?" he answered him, suddenly appearing a little nervous.

"Were you ever gonna ask my permission to marry my baby girl?" he said. I couldn't tell if he was serious or not. Matthew seemed taken off guard at first, then came through like a champ.

"Yes, sir...I was. May I please have the honor of marrying your daughter?" he asked humbly. My father didn't answer immediately, which made me slightly nervous. After several minutes, he drew in a deep breath and removed his oxygen mask. I found myself inadvertently biting my bottom lip like that twit in that dreadful erotica trilogy.

"Well, it's about time. You should have asked her before she left for college...then she never would have married that asshole," said my father.

"Daddy!" I said in total surprise.

"So...is that a 'yes'?" asked Matthew, looking somewhat perplexed and more than a little amused.

"No, son...that's a 'hell yes'," he replied. Matthew broke into that amazing smile of his as I jumped off my father's bed and into Matthew's arms.

"Thank you, Jim...I promise to take very good care of her," said Matthew.

"She can take care of herself, believe me. Just make her happy, Matt...that's all I want," said my father. I let go of Matthew and sat back down on my father's bed.

"He makes me very happy, Daddy...he always has," I said.

"I'm glad, baby girl. I knew you two belonged together, even when you were kids," he said.

"So did I, Daddy...but," I said, before stopping myself.

"But...your mother," said my father. I nodded slowly, unable to look at him. He took my hand in his.

"Look at me, Madeleine," he said softly. He only ever called me Madeleine when he was being serious. I could never fool him. He had always known what I was thinking and usually always got me to talk about it. But I couldn't talk to him about this. It would break his heart and he didn't need that on top of everything else he was facing. I lifted my head and looked into his soft brown eyes.

"Your mother was tough on you...too tough. I saw that," he said.

"She never gave me credit for having any brains...not even after I was awarded a full scholarship to Fordham, Daddy. She made me feel..." I let my voice trail off before I said something I would regret.

"Less than what you were? Incapable of making your own decisions?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, barely audible. Matthew was sitting beside me now with his arm around me. If there was ever a time when I needed the two men in my life that I loved the most, it was now.

"No sense in rehashing the past, baby girl. What's done is done and all that matters now is that you are a strong, smart, capable woman and you and Matt are together," he said.

"And that you're better. That matters too," I said.

"He's better, but he's not out of the woods yet," said a familiar voice from behind us. I turned around to see Dr. Robert Christian standing just inside the doorway. He was the Chief of Cardiology at Lakeshore and my father's primary physician since he had been admitted.

"I feel like I could run a marathon," said my father, puffing slightly as he put his oxygen mask back on.

"I'm sure you do, Jim...but it will be a little while before you can do that. We found a blockage in the AV node of your heart. The thrombolytics we've been giving you have not effectively dissolved it enough for my liking. You're going to need a balloon angioplasty," he said, matter-of-factly.

"What's that?" my father asked.

"Basically, we insert a balloon into your artery and inflate it at the sight of the blockage to bust it up" said Dr. Christian.

"Hell, I'm a Vietnam vet. I've been through worst ordeals in the rice paddies," said my father. He was a tough talker but his pale grey color betrayed his words.

"What's the expected recovery time?" I asked.

"For the angioplasty? Only a week or so, but your father has heart muscle damage so his total recovery will be a month or more," said Dr. Christian.

"I have to be fully recovered in order to walk my baby girl down the aisle on her wedding day, Doc," said my father.

"Congratulations, Madeleine. When's the big day?" asked Dr. Christian.

"October 19th," I said, taking Matthew's hand in mine.

"October 19th? That's only four months away! Don't you want to wait and do it up big?" said my father, sounding totally surprised.

"With all due respect, Jim...I've waited my entire adult life to marry Madeleine. That's long enough," said Matthew, kissing my hand.

"Fair point, son," said Dad.

"Do you think he'll be recovered by then, Dr. Christian?" I asked.

"He most certainly should be, barring any unforeseen setbacks and if he sticks to his diet and stops smoking cigars," he said.

"You hear that, Daddy? It's up to you now. Just behave yourself and you'll be in tip top shape to walk me down the aisle," I said.

"Yes, ma'am...I promise I'll behave from here on out," said my father, saluting me.

"When is the angioplasty scheduled?" I asked.

"First thing tomorrow morning," replied Dr. Christian. I looked at my watch and saw that it was nearly 9:00 PM. I had to get back to my normal routine of working now that my father was on the mend and I was still in need of more sleep.

"It's time for Matthew and me to go home, Daddy...but I'll be here tomorrow when you come out of surgery," I said, giving him a hug and kiss.

"OK, baby girl. Will I see you too, Matt?" said Dad.

"I'm on shift tomorrow morning at 8:00, but I'll call Maddy to find out how you're doing," replied Matthew as he gave my father a hug.

We said our goodbyes to Dr. Christian, then waited for the elevator. I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly as Matthew grabbed my hand.

"That was a big sigh," he said.

"Of relief," I said, as we stepped into the elevator. My body was beginning to ache now and all I could think about was getting home and going to bed. Now that Dad was improving, I had every hope that I would sleep better tonight than I had in the last week. I wanted to be up bright and early in order to be at the hospital when Dad got out of surgery.

It was dark as we walked out of the hospital and the parking lot was nearly empty. As we approached Matthew's truck, my cell phone rang. The number was blocked and I had no idea who it was.

"Hello?" I answered. No reply.

"Hello?" I said again. Still no reply. Matthew unlocked the passenger side door and turned around to look at me.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"Must be a wrong number," I said, ending the call. As I climbed into the truck, Matthew walked around the front.

"Son of a bitch!" I heard him yell. I slid across the front seat and opened the window.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I have a flat tire now too. Goddamn this city," he said as he walked to the back of the truck in search of the spare tire and his tools. I suddenly began to shake as I thought about the hooded figure in my driveway and the flat tire on my car. I got out of the truck and scanned the parking lot, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. I walked around to where Matthew was squatted down changing the tire. He was muttering to himself.

"The crime in this city is out of control. The CPD have to do something," he said as he removed the slashed tire and replaced it with the spare. I had an odd feeling in the back of my head that these two things were connected, but I had no idea why. I had no enemies that I was aware of. Once Matthew was finished changing the tire, we made the drive home.

"You head up to bed, Maddy. I'll be up once I've fixed your tire...probably in about half an hour," said Matthew, giving me a brief kiss. I could tell he was annoyed at the situation simply by his body language.

"OK," I said sheepishly, as I unlocked the back door.

Before going upstairs, I finished cleaning up the kitchen and wiped down the dining room table. We had left in such a hurry, we left the remnants of dinner all over the place. I could hear the sound of tools clinking and Matthew swearing in the driveway as I walked up the stairs to get ready for bed. Maybe the two flat tires were connected and maybe they were a coincidence. Either way, Matthew was in no mood to hear it tonight. I plugged in my phone, undressed and pulled the pink chemise back on, washed my face, brushed my teeth and combed my hair before climbing into bed. I set the alarm for 6:00 AM, slathered body lotion over my hands, arms and legs, then snuggled down in the covers. My body and my brain still hadn't had enough sleep and I could feel myself drifting almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I was startled by the sound of the bedroom door squeaking as it opened. I felt my heart begin to race and I lay there in the dark until the bathroom light went on and I could see it was Matthew.

"Sorry Maddy….I didn't mean to wake you," he said, pulling off his shirt. He walked into the bathroom, washed his face and hands, brushed his teeth and took off his jeans before coming to bed. He crawled in beside me and immediately pulled me in close to him.

"Mmmmm….you smell good," he said as he nuzzled up against my neck. I rolled over slowly and kissed him fully on the mouth, to which he responded immediately.

"That's a definite improvement over the last kiss you gave me," I said.

"I'm sorry, baby...I didn't mean anything by it. I was just pissed off that I had to change two tires because of the bangers in this city," he said.

"I know," I said, kissing him again.

"Now...get some sleep. You have a wedding to start planning tomorrow," he said grinning.

"Yes sir, Lieutenant," I said.

"I love you, Maddy," he said, pulling me in closer to his chest.

"I love you, too" I said, wrapping my leg around him.

"Matthew?" I said after several minutes.

"Yeah?" he answered.

"Did you lock the doors?" I asked.

"Of course I did," he said.

"The deadbolts on both doors? I asked.

"Yes, baby….now go to sleep," he said. I snuggled back down, pressing my face into the base of his throat as his he wrapped me up in his arms. I silently prayed that his arms would be all I needed to protect me now.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

"Jesus Christ, Mads! You need to call the police!" shouted Em. It was Friday at 3:30 and we were in my office, blowing off the rest of the day together...just like old times, only we didn't have to hide out in the womens locker room now. I had told her about the slashed tires and the hang up phone calls and true to form, she over reacted.

"I'm sure the CPD has more important business to take care of than slashed tires, Emily. Besides, dozens of tires must get slashed in this city every day and nothing's happened in over a week now. Let's not make more out of this than it is," I said, choosing not to tell her about the man in Roma's who had been inquiring about me last week.

"But what about the phone calls? Have they stopped?" she asked, sipping on the last of her Diet Pepsi which she had been nursing since before lunch.

"Not entirely. I had two or three of them here today," I said.

"On your office line? Holy shit, Mads! At least tell me that Matthew knows about that," she said.

"No, he doesn't. I see no reason to sound the alarm just yet, Em. Besides, Matthew is off this weekend and I've barely seen him since he started picking up extra half shifts. Nothing is going to ruin the next two days for us...especially something that's nothing," I said.

"Why is he picking up extra time?" she asked.

"He's trying to build up more vacation time for when we take our honeymoon," I said.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"We don't know yet. We haven't really talked about the location," I said.

"You got a lot of wedding stuff done this week?" she asked.

"The church is booked and the hotel is booked for the reception. We have a meeting with the events planner on Tuesday afternoon. It's slowly coming together," I said, happy to turn the conversation to something else.

"You're glowing," said Em, smiling at me.

"So are you, Morrison," I said, returning her smile.

"I'm not the one getting married," she said.

"Not yet," I said. Em promptly wrinkled up her nose and blew raspberries all over my desk. Just then, the phone rang. I felt all the blood drain out of my face as it continued to ring.

"Nothing, huh? If you could see your face right now, you'd know this phone thing isn't nothing," said Em. I picked up the phone and answered it.

"This is Madeleine Coventry. How can I help you?" I said, sounding more tentative than I intended.

"You can help me by coming home and letting me take you to bed," said the voice of my handsome fiance. I breathed an inaudible sigh of relief and mouthed the word "Matthew" to Em. She gave me the thumbs up sign.

"But I'm not sleepy yet," I said.

"Oh, we won't be sleeping," he replied in a low sexy voice that made my knees tingle.

"Can't I have dinner first?" I asked, teasing him.

"Oh, you'll be eating...trust me," he said. I started laughing uncontrollably and as I looked across the desk at Em, she was making a gagging motion with her finger. I quickly covered the mouthpiece of the phone and blew raspberries at her.

"We're still on for tomorrow at David's Bridals at 2:00 and for brunch at Big Jones on Sunday, right?" I said to her as she got up to leave my office.

"Wouldn't miss either of them, babes. Talk to you later," she said, blowing a kiss at me before closing the door to my office behind her.

"You're blowing raspberries at the idea?" asked Matthew, sounding confused.

"No! Sorry...I was talking to Em. I'd never blow raspberries at the thought of blowing you," I said, sounding brazen and giggling again.

"You filthy, filthy girl. You kiss your father with that mouth?" asked Matthew, sniggering. I could picture the sexy little grin on his face.

"Oh, you love it Lieutenant! Speaking of my father, I'm going upstairs to visit him for a few minutes before I head out. I'll be home by 5:00," I said.

"OK, baby... give my love to your Dad and hurry home," said Matthew.

"I will. See you soon, handsome," I said before hanging up. I shut off my computer, gathered up my things and headed upstairs to see my father. He was sitting in a chair and reading the Chicago Tribune. He looked as pink and robust as a newborn baby.

"Hey, baby girl…how are you doing, honey? Planning that wedding to your handsome fireman?" he asked.

"Yep...got the church and reception booked, but the more important question is how you're doing, not me," I said, leaning down to give him a kiss.

"Doc says I should be out of here by the middle of next week, so I guess I'm doing good," he said.

"That's great, Daddy...and I've set up home care services for you, too...just in case," I said, holding my breath.

"I don't need any…." he started to say before I interrupted.

"Don't argue with me. It's a done deal. Do it for me, OK?" I said, holding up my hand to him.

"OK, baby girl...for you," he said reluctantly.

"Thank you. Matthew's off this weekend, so I have to get home now. Do you need me to pick anything up for you?" I said.

"No, baby girl...I'm all set. You go home and spend the weekend with the man you love," he said.

"I love you too, Daddy...don't forget that. Call me if you need anything and I'll see you on Monday," I said, kissing him on the cheek again.

"OK, honey. Oh...and Madeleine?" said my father as I was walking out the door. I turned around to see him folding up his paper, then take off his glasses and set them on the nightstand next to the bed.

"Yeah Daddy? Did you think of something you need?" I said.

"No, honey...I just wanted to tell you that I am so proud of you. You are one hell of a woman and Matthew and I are very lucky fellas," he said.

"I'm the lucky one….and you're prejudiced, Daddy," I said.

"True... but I still meant every word. After your Mama died, I didn't know how I was going to manage, but you stepped right up and took care of everything...including your old Dad...and you're still doing it eight years later," he said. I thought I could see tears rolling down his cheeks now. I walked back over to where he was sitting and squatted down next to him.

"Well...you've always taken care of me. It's my turn now," I said.

"I know you don't think so, but your Mama would be proud too," he said, cupping the side of my face with his big hand. I stood back up slowly and looked down at him.

"I have to go, Daddy. Remember...call me if you need anything, OK?" I said. As much as he wanted me to acknowledge what he had said, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. She wouldn't be the least bit proud. She would pick apart everything I had done over the last eight years and tell me how I could have done it better. I kissed him again and walked out of the room quickly before he could turn my obvious ambivalence towards my mother into a discussion I didn't want to have.

I drove home feeling slightly guilty that I left my father's hospital room so abruptly. Talking about my mother and our relationship had always been a touchy subject. It would be difficult talking to my father about my feelings. He adored my mother. He thought the sun rose and set on her and it would break his heart to know that my feelings towards her were not the same as his. As I pulled into my driveway and saw Matthew's truck, I could feel all my tension suddenly melt away. Despite the fatigue I still felt, I ran up the stairs of the front porch and unlocked the front door. As I stepped inside, the living room was dark and I could see the dining room table had been set, complete with lit candles and music was softly playing in the background.

"I'm over here," I heard Matthew say from behind me. His voice was soft and low, much like it had been on the phone earlier. I turned to see him sitting on the couch. There were two glasses of wine on the coffee table in front of him. He was barefoot and dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. As I walked towards him, he slowly stood up. He was so beautiful, he took my breath away.

"I'm sorry I'm late, but..." I started to say, but he placed a finger on my lips and shook his head slightly, telling me that no words were necessary. He cupped my face in his hands and looked into my eyes.

"Welcome home, baby," he said before brushing his lips across mine and slowly but completely covering my mouth. His hands moved from my face to my neck and pulled me in closer to him as he deepened the kiss. Every nerve ending in my body came alive as his tongue gently wrestled with mine. My hands held onto his back and I could feel his muscles flex as he moved his hands down to my waist and around to the small of my back. My fingers found the buttons on his jeans and began to slowly undo them.

"I thought you were hungry," he said in that low sexy voice.

"Oh, I intend to eat," I whispered as I pushed his jeans down past his hips. He pulled his shirt over his head and I gently pushed him down on the couch. He was already semi-erect as I licked up and down the length of him. He let out a soft moan as I pulled back his foreskin and let my tongue swirl around the tip of his penis.

"Oh Christ...Maddy...I…" he said in a whispered voice. I lifted my head to look at him. His blue-green eyes were wild with passion and surprise and his breathing was already labored. I put my knees between his legs and leaned in close to kiss him. He took my mouth hungrily, sucking on my tongue and biting at my bottom lip. I pulled away from his mouth and moved down to his chest, playfully biting and licking his nipples. He arched his back slightly at the feel of my teeth on his skin. I kissed down his torso, moving painfully slowly towards the desired target. He was fully erect now and I gripped him firmly in my hand. I licked the glistening drop on the head of his penis while stroking him slowly up and down. I had complete control over him now and it made me feel powerful and totally desired. I moved my mouth to his testicles, flicking my tongue over each one. His hips rose up slightly as I moved my mouth over the delicate skin.

"Fuck…." he said, almost inaudibly.

I took his full length in my mouth, still holding the base of his penis tightly. His hands held the back of my head, gripping my hair as I sucked up and down on him, slowly at first but getting faster with each movement. He was moaning loudly now as my head bobbed up and down and my fingers squeezed his penis and testicles. His body went rigid and his grip on my head tightened.

"Oh Jesus...baby...I'm...coming…" he said, as if he was warning me. HIs hips lifted off the couch and he let out a guttural sound as the warm salty fluid spurted at the back of my throat. I swallowed it eagerly, enjoying its earthy taste and the utter pleasure I had just given him. When he was finished, I pulled away from him and and picked up one of the glasses of wine from the table. My eyes couldn't meet his as I drank down half of it in record time. I suddenly felt shy and uncertain of myself. I had never done that with any man before and I was worried that I hadn't measured up to his previous experiences. I walked into the kitchen and poured myself some more wine, trying to get up the courage to look at him.

"Maddy?" I heard him say from behind me. I took a few more gulps of wine before turning around. I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say to him anyway. He was standing in the doorway of the kitchen with no shirt and his jeans still unbuttoned. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes. Never had I loved someone so completely before. It scared me just as much as it thrilled me...and now I had crossed over into unexplored territory and was scared all over again.

"Oh baby...don't cry. That was beautiful….and sexy as hell," he said, sounding somewhat shy himself. He placed a finger under my chin and tilted my face up to his.

"I've never...done that...with anyone before….it never felt 'right'...until now," I said, crying softly.

"And I've never...had that...before. I was never really comfortable being that intimate with anyone...until now," he said. We both stood there in disbelief. Here we were, both in our thirties, both with previous relationships and we were confessing the same secret.

"Is that true, Matthew? No one ever gave you oral sex before?" I asked.

"No...not even Hallie. Something inside me just wouldn't let go to allow it to happen. Sounds stupid, I know, because most men would sell their souls to the devil for a blow job," he said.

"I could never do that to any man I was with. It was just too personal and somehow, doing that would mean I had a deep connection with them...and I just never did. Are we both freaks?" I said.

"No, baby…it just proves we were meant for each other," he said.

"I have never loved anyone the way I love you, Matthew," I said, still quietly weeping.

"And I could never put into words how much I love you...at least no words that would do it justice," he said, his eyes welling up slightly. I wrapped my arms around his back and pressed my face into the side of his neck. His hands caressed my back as he held me. We stood there holding onto each other for several minutes in total silence. It was peaceful and perfect and intimate in ways no one else would ever understand.

"Go relax with a glass of wine while I fix dinner, OK?" he said as he handed me the glass. I nodded as I took the wine and walked back into the living room. I kicked off my heels and stretched my legs out on the couch as Matthew busied himself in the kitchen. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, taking a few deep breaths to center myself. I was roused by the sound of Matthew's voice telling me dinner was ready.

"No one does leftovers better than a firefighter," I said as I stared down at two plates of spaghetti bolognese.

"This is phenomenal, Maddy. Did you learn to make this in one of your cooking classes?" he asked as he shoveled in a forkful of spaghetti.

"Actually, I learned to make this from Stephen's father," I said.

"Really? Gage isn't an Italian name though," he said.

"Stephen's real last name is Gagliano….very Italian. He told me he had it legally changed when he went into real estate. He thought it sounded too 'Godfather-ish' and didn't want to scare off any potential buyers," I said.

"Did he actually have ties to the Mafia?" he asked.

"I'm sure he did, but he kept that part of his life well hidden from me," I said.

Matthew looked pensive while we finished our dinner. He got up and cleared the table without speaking, which unsettled me slightly, given that the topic was my ex-husband. I decided to go upstairs and change out of my work clothes and into something more comfortable. It was a warm early summer evening, so I pulled on a pair of bikini panties and one of Matthew's muscle t-shirts. I plugged in my phone and saw a text from Em.

"_Did you tell Matt yet?"_

I didn't bother to answer. Instead, I washed my face, brushed my teeth and pulled my hair into a messy ponytail before heading back downstairs. Matthew was back sitting on the couch watching the news

"Come here," he said, patting the spot next to him. I stretched out on the couch beside him and rested my head in his lap.

"Any plans for tomorrow?" he said, looking down at me and stroking my hair.

"Meeting Em at 2:00 to pick out dresses. Other than that, I'm all yours," I said.

"You could get married wearing this outfit," he said pulling at my underwear.

"Yeah, that would be really good for my father's heart," I said. I could feel myself dozing as Matthew continued to stroke my hair. I could vaguely hear him talking about a bad fire for Morningside before drifting off into a light sleep. I remember him carrying me upstairs and putting me into bed. As I rolled over, I thought I could see him pick up my phone and look at it before climbing into bed beside me. He inched up close to my back and wrapped himself around me.

"You're mine now, Maddy….and nothing is going to interfere with that….nothing," he said, as he kissed my ear, but I was too tired to question him. It would have to wait until morning.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Light was just beginning to break as I was waking up. My head was in the crook of Matthew's underarm and my left hand was resting on his manhood, which was standing at attention. As much as I enjoyed pleasuring him last night, it left me feeling restless and unsatisfied. I playfully stroked him in hopes of rousing him to make love, but to my disappointment, he grunted and rolled over away from me. Feeling rejected, I climbed out of bed and wrapped a light robe around me. It was only 6:00 as I quietly padded downstairs.

I went into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, then rummaged through my pantry to see what I could make before Matthew got up. Looking around my kitchen, I spotted several overripe bananas and decided to make banana bread. I made enough batter for two large loaves….one with walnuts for him and one with chocolate chips for me. I put them in the oven, poured a cup of coffee for myself and went back to the living room. I set my coffee down and opened the front door to get the morning paper. The air was cool and I pulled my thin robe around me a little tighter as I opened the front door. It was still barely light out, but I switched the porch light off in case I forgot to do it later. I stepped out onto the porch and didn't immediately see the paper. After a few seconds, I spotted it on the front step. The paperboy must have been in a hurry this morning because his aim was usually right on target. As I bent down to get it, I thought I saw a shadow cross from the front to the side of the house. I squinted to see if I could get a better look at it, but it was gone too quickly. Many mornings I had encountered the neighbor's cat on my porch or their dog rifling through my garbage. I passed it off as an animal of some kind and went back inside.

I sat cross-legged on the couch, took a big sip of coffee and began to read. The headlines were full of shootings, robberies and stabbings from all neighborhoods across the city. Chicago had always had its share of violent crimes, but it seemed to be escalating at an alarming rate. I decided to talk to Matthew about installing a security system in the house. With the hang up calls and two slashed tires, I felt it was a necessary thing...even if they were mild in comparison.

I was roused by the sound of the oven timer going off and the entire downstairs smelled of freshly baked banana bread. I pulled the loaves out of the oven and placed them on cooling racks, then poured myself another cup of coffee. I leaned my back against the counter, sipping it slowly and mindlessly staring out into the yard through the breakfast nook window. It was after 7:00 AM now and the sun was fully up. As I gazed out the window, a dark figure crossed down low in front of the garage. I set my coffee cup down and walked to the back door to get a better look. Many times, I had to shoo the neighbor's bull mastiff out of my herb and flower garden and I half expected to see the big dope in the middle of it, trampling down the plants with his huge feet. Just as I was about to open the door and yell for him to get out of my garden, it bolted out of the yard and down the driveway. It moved too quickly for me to see, but it certainly didn't look like a dog to me. I remembered the hooded figure from a week ago and I could feel my heart begin to pound.

"Morning," said Matthew as he kissed my neck and wrapped his arms around my waist. I practically jumped out of my skin.

"Christ, Matthew! You scared the crap out of me!" I said, my heart nearly pounding out of my chest as I turned around to face him.

"I'm sorry, baby...I didn't mean to," he said, looking amused. He had a pair of gym shorts on and was shirtless. I was tempted to jump him, but wouldn't allow myself to go there again, for fear of being rejected.

"You want some coffee?" I asked, brushing past him. I couldn't quite get the memory of him refusing my advances in bed earlier out of my head. I didn't want to, but I felt a little annoyed with him.

"Yeah, thanks. Do I smell banana bread?" he asked as he came up behind me again. He slipped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my left shoulder. I poured his coffee and cut a slice from each loaf as he peered over my shoulder.

"Uh huh," I said as I shoved a piece in his mouth. I handed him his coffee and moved away from him. I went back into the living room, taking my coffee and banana bread with me. I sat cross-legged on the couch, took a bite of banana bread and picked up a section of the paper from the coffee table. After a minute or two, Matthew walked into the living room and sat at the other end of the couch. He stared curiously at me for at least a full minute. I continued to read the paper and tried to ignore him in the process.

"What?" I finally said, sounding flustered.

"Did I do something wrong that I'm not aware of?" he asked. _How do you answer this one, Madeleine_...I heard my inner voice say to me. He hadn't really done anything wrong.. I knew I was being ridiculous, but I couldn't help myself. Being married to a man who ignores you in bed because of his countless affairs will do that to a woman.

"No," I heard myself say. I continued to read the paper, drink my coffee and eat my banana bread without looking up at him. His frustration was palpable.

"Madeleine…" he said sternly.

"Yes, Matthew?" I said as sweetly as possible.

"Something's up...I can tell. What is it?" he asked, leaning back into the couch and propping his arm up on the back of it. The sight of his bare chest aroused me in spite of my foolish anger towards him. I still went for the jugular.

"Well….your cock was up earlier...not that it did me any good," I said, shifting myself to face him, stretching my legs out on the couch. The look on his face was complete confusion, almost like I had been speaking another language that he didn't understand.

"Ummm….what?" he asked, still looking totally lost.

"You had an erection this morning and I seductively wrapped my fingers around it, hoping you'd….you know….and instead, you grunted and rolled over…" I said.

"THAT'S what you're upset about?" he asked. Now he was the one that sounded annoyed.

"Forget it, Matthew...it's not important," I said, suddenly feeling like a spoiled child. I leaned back against the pillow on the arm of the couch and held the paper up in front of me, pretending to read it. I could hear Matthew sighing and felt him shift on the couch.

"Madeleine Elizabeth Coventry….look at me, goddammit!" he said, grabbing the paper in the middle and ripping it out of my hands.

"You've hardly given me a choice here," I said sarcastically. He pushed himself between my legs and placed his hands on either side of me on the arm of the couch. His face was only inches from mine. His bare chest was pressing down on my breasts and I was afraid he'd feel my nipples poking through the t-shirt I was wearing. His happy trail was pushing up against my crotch. I wanted him badly, but refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing it.

"I've been killing myself at work, picking up extra half shifts….you know that! I don't remember rolling away from you, Maddy…but I'm sure I was just exhausted. It had NOTHING to do with you," he said.

"Uh huh…and I suppose it had nothing to do with my giving you a blow job last night either," I said. He said nothing; only dropped his head, looking down at my chest. I pulled my robe up over my breasts to hide my obvious arousal.

"You...are unbelievably stubborn, Madeleine," he said in a soft voice as he lifted his head, his blue-green eyes looking directly at me and his mouth lingering closely to mine. His scent filled my head and I ached to reach out and rub my hands across his chest hair and lick his perfect lips.

"I know," I said, barely able to speak now. I could feel my resolve fading and if he touched me now, this angry facade of mine would be revealed.

"Well….I'm not rolling over away from you now," he said, leaning in even closer to me.

"I'm not in the mood now," I said, lying through my teeth.

"Oh really….the hot wet spot against my stomach tells me otherwise," he said with a wicked little grin on his face. Before I could even think of a smart ass reply, he brushed his lips lightly over mine. I was sure he could feel the throbbing between my legs against his stomach as leaned in closer with his mouth still hovering closely to mine.

"What do you think you're doing, Casey?" I said in a weak voice.

"Getting ready to kiss you, for starters," he whispered.

"But I'm annoyed with you. I don't want to kiss you," I said.

"Shut up, Coventry," he said before covering my mouth with his. His lips were soft and wet and locked with mine as his tongue poked gently between them. I pulled my knees back and sat up slightly, trying in vain to pull away from him. His hands held my shoulders as he pushed my robe down off of them.

"You're not going anywhere," he whispered into my mouth. He deepened his kiss as his hands pulled me up to him. My own hands had reached under his arms and held his back.

"Is this mine?" he asked, pinching the fabric of the t-shirt I was wearing. I nodded that it was and without further warning, he grabbed the neck of it with both hands and ripped it down the middle, exposing my breasts.

"Matthew...I…," I said softly. His head bowed low and I could feel his mouth around my left nipple. He gently licked and sucked it into his mouth before moving on to the right one. I could do nothing but drop my head back and enjoy it. He placed light kisses down my stomach, clenching the top of my panties between his teeth and letting them snap back.

"Lift your hips, baby," he said. I raised my bottom up off the couch and he hooked his fingers into the white lace and slowly pulled my panties off. He pushed my knees apart and lowered himself between my legs. I felt his tongue swirl around my clitoris and the flesh that surrounded it. I spread my legs wider and grabbed at his head as he continued his assault on my sweet spot. I could feel my orgasm begin and the intensity of it surprised me as I vaulted my hips upwards and into his face. I collapsed back on the couch, breathless and sweating...and feeling like a complete fool for having been upset with him. I watched as he pushed himself up and tugged at his gym shorts, revealing his erection. He pulled at my legs, bringing me closer to him.

"Oh baby...you are so wet…" he said as he entered me. I wrapped my legs around him as he pushed himself inside me. I clutched onto his shoulders, digging my nails into his skin as he expertly moved between my legs. He thrust in and out of me slowly, kissing me hard on the mouth as he did. He began to move faster, thrusting harder and deeper until my second orgasm engulfed me. It rippled out from between my thighs, down to my toes and upwards to my breasts and out to my wrists. I screamed and writhed underneath him as I clenched around his beautiful cock, raking my nails down his back as I came. He arched his back and let out a groan as my fingers ripped at his flesh. He face twisted and I could feel the muscles in his back tighten and I knew he was about to come.

"Oh fuck….Maddy….," he said just before I felt him shoot deep within me. He shuddered between my legs and I could feel the sticky warm wetness trickle out as his cock began to soften inside me. My tears came spilling over onto my cheeks as he collapsed on top of me. He laid his head between my breasts, breathing heavily as I stroked the back of his neck and kissed the top of his head. After a few minutes, he lifted his head up to look at me.

"Don't ever doubt my passion and desire for you again….ever. You're the last thing I think about before I go to sleep and the first thing I think about when I wake up. I find myself distracted during my shifts because I ache for you when we're not together. I love you, Maddy...body and soul," he said.

"I'm sorry," I said softly as my tears continued to fall. I stroked his face lightly with my fingers, tracing his the scar under his left eye with my thumb. He kissed me softly as he wrapped his arms underneath me. He slowly rolled me over so we were laying side by side. I grabbed the afghan off the back of the couch and threw it over the top of us. I snuggled in close, pressing my face into the base of his neck.

"Please forgive me, Matthew. I sometimes still suffer from the after effects of a bad marriage," I said.

"I know, baby...but I am not Stephen. I will never hurt you like that," he said.

I squeezed him tightly, feeling incredibly lucky that he loved me as much as he did in spite of my insecurities. I prayed that my fears would disappear once Matthew and I were married. I loved him completely and he loved me just as much. He deserves a woman who trusts him and doesn't project her leftover fears from a failed relationship on him. I decided as we lay each others arms that I would do my best to never do it again.

"I love you, Matthew," I said. I felt his arms tighten around me as he kissed the top of my head before we both fell asleep.

e your document here...


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

I opened my eyes to see Matthew's staring back at me. We had fallen asleep on the couch around 8:30 AM and I had no idea what time it was now. I had an appointment to meet Em downtown at the bridal shop at 2:00 PM and still had to shower and dress.

"What time is it?" I asked in a creaky voice. Matthew didn't answer immediately; he continued to silently stare.

"Do you know how beautiful you are when you're sleeping?" he finally said.

"Ummm...did you fall off the couch and bump your head? I look like a bag lady at the moment," I said, pulling at the tattered remains of my t-shirt and trying in vain to slick down my wild hair.

"I watch you sometimes...when you're sleeping. You have the cutest little snore," he said smiling.

"Snoring is not cute, Matthew," I said, feeling somewhat embarrassed.

"I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to you, Maddy," he said, suddenly turning serious. Like me, I suppose he still carried some of the emotional scars from his past.

"Nothing is going to happen to me, Matthew...I promise," I said, cupping his face in my right hand. He said nothing as he pulled me in close and kissed me. The clock in the dining room began to chime. I counted eleven chimes. We had slept for over two hours.

"I've got to get up now, my future husband. I have to pick up Em by 1:00 to in order to be at the bridal shop by 2:00," I said.

"Mmmmm...'future husband'...I like that," he said as a smile broke across his face.

I kissed him on the lips softly once more before getting up off the couch. He seemed to cling to me, like he was unwilling to let go of me. His lips pressed hard into mine, coaxing me to stay with him on the couch. How could I have been so stupid as to think he didn't desire me? He is the greatest love of my life and if I constantly pit him against Stephen in some sort of weird man litmus test, I was taking away from that. Here it was, three years after my divorce and I was still reeling from what Stephen had done to me. I remember Stephen's mother saying "_It's what they do, dear," _when I told her about his numerous affairs. Clearly, all the women before me in the Gagliano family had put up with it. I was the first one not willing to turn the other cheek and allow my husband to be unfaithful to me. I was also the first one to sue for divorce, which did not sit well with his family.

"How long will you be gone?" he asked, as I pulled away from his mouth.

"I'm not really sure. It all depends on Em finding a dress she'll agree to wear.,...plus the fact that I want to look flawless on our wedding day...at least as flawless as I can be at 34 years old….so my dress has to be perfect too," I said as I climbed over him and picked up my panties from the floor.

"You could wear overalls and work boots and I would still think you looked flawless," he said as he got up off the couch and followed me up the stairs.

"Wow, Lieutenant...you just saved me approximately $3000.00!" I said. With that, he slapped me on the bottom, which made me squeal and run up the rest of the stairs. He ran after me and tackled me on our bed.

"Have you thought about where you'd like to go for honeymoon?" he asked.

"Anywhere but New York City. It's been done before," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Or Lake Tahoe. It's been discussed before," he said. He and Hallie must have talked about going there on their honeymoon at one time.

"Since we're getting married in October, I'd like to go somewhere warm to help ease the pain of the coming Chicago winter," I said.

"What...like Florida or Hawaii?" he asked.

"I was thinking more like the Bahamas or Bora Bora," I said. He said nothing for a minute or two.

"I'm on it, baby," he said, leaning in to kiss me before he got up off the bed. I quickly ran into the shower and started getting ready to go pick up Em. By the time I was finished, it was heading towards noon, so I gave her a quick call before getting dressed.,

"Hey, Em…it's me. I'll be there in about an hour. You're gonna be ready, right?" I said.

"Ummm...yeah. I'll be ready. I'll have to pry Severide off me first," she said, giggling. I could hear Kelly's voice in the background.

"That's way too much information, Em. See you at 1:00," I said, before ending the call. I put my phone down and started to walk to my closet to pick out clothes when it began to ring. I answered it without even looking because I knew it had to be Em.

"What now, Morrison? You're having trouble prying Kelly off of you, so you'll be late?" I said, smirking. No reply.

"Hello?" I said. Again no reply. I pulled the phone away from my ear to look at the number but all it said was "blocked".

"Alright…who the hell is this?" I shouted into the phone. Still no answer.

"Look...if you don't have enough balls to tell me who you are, then stop fucking calling me!" I said defiantly before ending the call. I was not going to let anything spoil this day, come hell or high water….and I certainly wouldn't let some asshole with nothing better to do than to make prank phone calls disrupt my weekend of wedding planning with my fiance. I slammed my phone down on the bedside table just as Matthew came back into the bedroom.

"Problem?" he asked. _Think quick, Madeleine _my inner voice said.

"No, it just slipped out of my hand. What are your plans for today, Lieutenant?" I said, quickly changing the subject.

"Finishing up the garden tub. It should be ready for you to use tonight," he said.

"We should work on our guest list when I get back, too" I said as I got dressed. Matthew cocked his head and smiled at me. I put on my make-up in record time. pulled my hair back in ponytail and headed for the stairs.

"Hey," said Matthew, grabbing my arm. I stopped and turned to face him.

"What?" I asked.

"I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too, Lieutenant," I replied. He placed his hands on either side of my neck and kissed me. His lips were warm, soft and wet and I had to fight with myself to pull away from him to go.

"I've gotta go now," I said. He nodded and I watched as he walked into the bathroom and removed his gym shorts, baring his naked rump. I wolf whistled at him.

"Get, you!" he said smirking. I turned and ran down the stairs, grabbed my keys and bag and jumped in my car. I made the drive to Em's house in record time and to my surprise, she was ready to go.

"You look flushed," I said as Em got into the passenger side of the car.

"I'm sweating, too. You can thank Severide for that," she said grinning.

"Jesus, Em! I didn't need to know that!" I said. She giggles and continued to smile as we drove across town to the bridal shop. She looked happier than I had ever seen her for the entire time I had known her. We pulled in front of the shop just before 2:00.

"Before you walk in here, I want you to keep an open mind. Look at all the bridesmaid dresses carefully, pick at least three that you like and we'll go from there," I said to her as we stood on the sidewalk.

"Have you got a specific color in mind?" she asked.

"I'm leaning towards a pale champagne or pale peach color," I said. We walked inside and both of us were visibly overwhelmed with the amount of dresses we were faced with. Aisles and aisles of all different colors and styles lay out before us, waiting to be looked at and tried on.

"This is going to take a while," said Em.

"I'll go this way and you go that way and we'll meet by the dressing rooms in an hour with our first choices," I said. We parted company and dove into the rows of couture in front of us. Almost instantly, I ruled out any dress that a huge puffy skirt. I was curvy enough without layers and layers of tulle accentuating my hips. I decided on a more fitted look with a chapel length train. In an hour's time, I had found three dresses that were possibilities. I headed towards the back of the store to the dressing rooms just as Em texted me.

"_Got my first three choices, so drag your ass back here!" _it said. My Em...so subtle.

"OK...let's try each one on, then come out here so we can both see them and give our opinions," I said. Em headed into the cubicle across from mine. I pulled on my first choice...a strapless gown with heavy beading on the bodice and skirt. It was so heavy I could barely move.

"Ready?" I heard Em's voice call out.

"Yep!" I said. We both walked out of our dressing rooms and met in the middle of the dressing area that was surrounded by floor to ceiling mirrors. I looked her up and down and she looked me up and down.

"You're boobs are way too big for that," she said.

"You look like a big pile of peach cotton candy," I said.

"On to dress number two!" Em shouted. We were giggling like two little girls trying on their mothers' clothes. The second dresses weren't much better.

"You're ass looks huge in that," she said.

"You look like a bird that got stuck in a pink cloud," I said. The third dresses didn't measure up either. Nor did the fourth, fifth or sixth ones. They were either too frilly, too plain, too sparkly, too short or too long. We decided to make one more trip around the shop before moving onto the next one. We each came out of the dressing room wearing our seventh choice dress. We stopped and stared at each other in total silence.

"Holy shit, Madster...you look stunning! THAT is your dress!" said Em in a voice so quiet and dignified that I almost didn't recognize her. The dress was a simple white satin with three-quarter length lace sleeves, a sweetheart neckline encrusted with crystal and seed pearls, a fitted bodice, cut to mid-back with crystal beads and an A-line skirt with a chapel length train.

"And you look absolutely beautiful, Em...seriously. Severide will have that dress up over your head as soon as he sees you," I said, gazing at her. She giggled as she twirled around like a 5 year old showing off her new party dress. She was wearing a champagne colored satin tea-length dress with a lace sleeves and overlay and a sweetheart neckline. The two dresses couldn't have matched more if they had been made by the same designer on the same day.

"Are we officially done looking?" she asked.

"I think we are," I said, looking at myself in the mirrors that surrounded me. Em came up behind me and looked over my shoulder at my image in the mirror.

"Casey's gonna cream his jeans when he lays his eyes on you," she said.

"Correction...his tuxedo pants," I said, grinning.

"Has he chosen his best man yet?" she asked..

"He hasn't mentioned it, but I suspect it will be someone from Truck," I said.

"Not Squad?" she said, smirking. I poked my tongue out at her as she watched me in the mirror.

We met with the seamstress before leaving the store. I wanted to add a few details to the dress and I wanted to make sure she could do it.

"That was a cool idea you had for your train. Casey will be surprised," said Em as we walked to my car.

"I want to surprise him, so don't mention it tomorrow at brunch," I said. As I walked around the front of my car, I saw a black Lincoln Town Car park directly across from us. The rear window rolled down a few inches, but the windows were tinted and I couldn't see anyone in the back seat. My knees started to shake when I realized it was the same car that had followed me down the street the day I walked to Roma's market. I stopped dead in my tracks.

"You know them?" asked Em as she squinted her eyes and looked across the street at the black car.

"Nope," I said as nonchalantly as I could. I was way too happy to be lectured right now. We drove home in relative silence and I was afraid Em would know something was wrong.

"Come inside for a quick drink, babes?" she asked as I pulled up in front of her house.

"Thanks, chick...but I kinda want to get back home to my fiance and lock ourselves away until brunch tomorrow morning," I said.

"Understood. See you tomorrow," she said, giving me a hug before she got out of the car. I drove home, trying to forget the black car and ignore the gnawing fear in the back of my head. This whole thing was beginning to grow out of my control and I needed to tell Matthew...just not yet. I just wanted three days in a row without any drama. I'd had enough in the last month to last me the rest of my life.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

"Are you OK?" said Matthew. He was propped up on his elbow with his head in his hand and looking at me from his side of the bed.

"I just woke up. What could possibly be wrong?" I asked, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"You were way too quiet when you came home last night," he said.

"I spent over four hours with Em in a bridal shop looking at hundreds of dresses. I was worn out...I told you that," I said, snuggling up to his chest and playing with his chest hair, hoping to distract him so he'd forget what he was talking about.

"I know, but you didn't even want to use your new garden tub," he said, looking a little hurt.

"Because I thought we could both use it together this morning...without running the risk that I'd fall asleep after ten minutes," I said, placing light kisses at the base of his throat and trailing my mouth down to his right nipple. I softly licked it and sucked it into my mouth. He let out a soft little moan as the tip of my tongue flicked at his skin.

"Mmmmm...come here," he said as he pulled my face up to his and kissed me.

"God, I love your mouth. Your lips are so beautiful," I said, stroking his bottom lip with my thumb.

"You like the rest of me, too...right?" he said with a wicked little grin on his face.

"Hmmmm," I said as I put my finger up to my mouth and wrinkled my brow, like I was thinking about my answer.

"Oh, you evil little brat!" he said as he started to tickle me relentlessly.

"STOP IT! I'll pee!"I shrieked as he dug his fingers into my sides. I tried to wriggle away from him but his body held me in place.

"What if I do this instead?" he asked as he leaned down to kiss me again. I willingly opened my mouth as his lips touched mine. The gentleness with which he kissed me was overwhelmingly sensual...unlike anything I had ever experienced before...and I wanted to devour him whole. His beautiful face, his perfect body and the way he moved captivated me. I grabbed his face and eagerly kissed him back.

"Mmmmm...that was brilliant," I said, running my tongue around my lips. He lifted his mouth off of mine and looked down at me.

"You want more?" he asked solicitously. I always wanted more from him, but I had a small black cloud over my head in the shape of a Lincoln Town Car that kept nagging at me.

"Yes...but I still need to pee...and a bath….and a cup of tea," I said. He gave me one of his famous "Oh, for fuck's sake" faces before rolling off me and getting out of bed.

"I'll make your tea while you run the bath. What time are we meeting Em and Severide?" he asked as he was pulling on a pair of gym shorts.

"10:30 at Big Jones. Do you mind if I add bubbles?" I said, talking over the water running in the tub.

"No...as long as you take it to your grave that I took a girly bubble bath. Be back in a few minutes," he said before dashing down the stairs.

I added a few squirts of jasmine scented bubble bath to the running water as it rushed out of the spout. I brushed my teeth and ran a comb through my hair while the bath filled, then went back into the bedroom to check my phone. No calls, thank God. I took off my nightie and slipped into the warm bubbles. After a few minutes, Matthew came back upstairs with my tea and a cup of coffee for himself. He set them both down on the edge of the tub, then pulled off his gym shorts and slid into the bath behind me. I positioned myself between his legs and leaned back against his chest.

"Mmmmm….this is so nice. You did an amazing job, Matthew," I said, as I closed my eyes and sipped my tea. The warm water felt good and the feeling of snuggling against my fiance's naked body felt even better.

"Whatever you want, I'll give it to you, Maddy," he said as he wrapped his arms around the front of me.

"You'll spoil me," I said softly.

"That's the idea," he said. I set my tea down and picked up one of his hands and kissed the back of it.

"Have you thought about who's going to be your best man?" I asked.

"Yeah...I have. I think I'm going to ask Chris Herrmann. We sort of bonded after a prison fire when I asked the inmates to take me as a hostage instead of him," he said.

"You did that?" I asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah...I mean...his wife was in labor at the time with their fifth child and I told them he had a lot to live for. I didn't at the time," he said, his voice trailing off. I turned over in the water so I was facing him.

"Oh, Matthew," I said, my voice cracking slightly.

"Don't cry, baby…. I have a lot more to live for now," he said, as his beautiful blue-green eyes teared up. I pushed myself up out of the water and kissed him, choking back my tears.

"Our guest list is up to 100 people now, you know," I said, changing the subject. We had wanted to keep the overall number of guests small, but it was getting away from us.

"Yeah, but not everyone will come. You've gotta remember that," he said.

"I can't believe we are actually going to be married. I mean, I used to dream about it constantly, even after I was married to Stephen and now that it's finally coming together, it's like having my dreams come true. Sorta scary," I said.

"Scary? Why?" he asked, with a puzzled look on his face.

"It's been my experience that most dreams never come true...and if they do, something bad is bound to happen," I said. His expression turned from bewildered to pained.

"Maddy," he said softly as he stroked both sides of my face with his wet hands. He pulled me in close and kissed me. I laid my head on his shoulder and he wrapped me up in his arms. The warm water lapped at our bodies as we laid there holding each other. These were the moments that I cherished the most.

"It's 8:30, Maddy...as much as I don't want to move, we need to get ready for brunch," said Matthew, rousing me from a brief snooze.

"Did you fall asleep too?" I asked as I got out of the bathtub and wrapped a towel around me.

"Yeah, but your resonating snore woke me up thankfully," he said as he toweled himself off and grinning.

"You know...if my snoring bothers you, I can always sleep in the spare bedroom," I said as smart-ass-like as I could as I started to walk out of the bathroom.

"I love your little snore, so don't even think about leaving my bed. It took me long enough to get you there," he said, taking me by the arm and pulling me in close to him. His eyes scanned my face for a few seconds before he planted a soft, wet kiss on my mouth. In one slow orchestrated move, he pulled off my towel and backed me into the bedroom, his mouth never leaving mine. He gently laid me down on the bed and pushed himself between my legs.

"Matthew...don't start something we don't have time to finish," I said as I felt his erection pushing against my thigh. He rolled off me onto the bed and let out a deep sigh.

"OK...but you're all mine tonight, Coventry," he said.

"You'll have to pry me off of you with a crowbar, Casey," I said as I got up off the bed.

We both got dressed and made the twenty minute drive to Big Jones to meet Em and Kelly for brunch. Neither of their cars were in the parking lot as we pulled in and waited for them to arrive.

"Don't forget that we have an appointment with the events planner at The Drake on Tuesday night. We're supposed to choose the menu for the reception and our wedding cake," I said.

"I won't forget. I've got an appointment reminder in my phone," he said. Just then, Kelly's black Camaro pulled into the parking lot.

"You're late, Morrison," I said, tapping my watch.

"We're not at work now so you can't dock me, boss lady," she said sticking her tongue out at me.

"You're impossible, Morrison," I said.

"Yep...and that's why you love me," she replied.

"No...I love you because you always bring alcohol when you come over," I said.

"Speaking of alcohol, bring on the mimosas! Can we order a pitcher full?" she said as we were seated at our table.

"You certainly can!" said the waitress as she approached our table. We ordered a pitcher of mimosas and decided on the brunch buffet. As the guys went up to fill their plates, Em and I hung back.

"Did you tell Matthew about the phone calls yet?" asked Em, taking a sip of her mimosa.

"No, Emily...I told you I wanted nothing to interfere with our weekend off together I'll tell him...just not today," I said.

"Tomorrow. You'll tell him tomorrow, Madster," she said.

"He's on shift tomorrow," I said.

"He owns a cell phone, doesn't he? Tell him tomorrow...I mean it, Madeleine!" she said sternly.

"Yes, drill sergeant," I said, saluting her and trying to lighten the mood.

"OK, in other news...you and Casey are both glowing, Madster. Your love for each other is so obvious," she said.

"Yeah, I feel like I can be seen from space sometimes," I said, smiling to myself.

"You two were made for each other," she said.

"So are you and Severide, Em. I don't remember when I've seen you this happy," I said, grabbing her hand. She smiled at me and her face went completely red.

"Shit," she said, pulling her hand away from mine and up to her cheeks.

"What's this? My Bruiser is blushing?" said Kelly as he sat down next to her with a plate full of food.

"No, it's just warm in here...that's all," she said as she rose from the table and pulled me up to the buffet.

"What's the matter? You don't want him to see your sensitive side?" I asked as we began to fill our plates.

"You know me, Mads...not much for emotion," she said. Her eyes wouldn't meet mine, indicating that she was uncomfortable with this new feeling.

"Things change, Em...especially when you find the right person to share those emotions with...and I think you've done that," I said.

"Yeah, yeah….can we eat now?" she said, trying to change the subject. As much as she wanted to deny it, I could tell she was deeply in love with Kelly. I knew her better than she knew herself sometimes, just like she sometimes knew me better than I did.

"A little over three months now, huh guys?" said Kelly, shoveling in a forkful of food as Em and I sat down.

"Yep...it's slowly but surely coming together! We're meeting with the wedding planner at The Drake Tuesday night," said Matthew. His enthusiasm surprised me.

"Before I forget to tell you, I'm going into work at 9:00 that morning. That way I can leave work at 5:00, meet you for dinner somewhere and then head over to the hotel," I said, munching on a danish.

"Sounds like a plan," said Matthew, leaning in to kiss me.

"Get. A. Room," said Em.

"What? We can't even kiss in front of you now?" I said in mock disgust. Before Em could answer, Kelly grabbed her by the neck and planted a gaping kiss on her mouth.

"There. Now we're even," said Kelly with a huge grin on his face. We all started to laugh and I spit my mimosa all over Em in the process. She sat there with a look of utter surprise on her face as droplets of orange juice and cava dripped down her chin. After a few moments, she spoke.

"I have to get a new friends. My boyfriend makes public displays of affection…my best friend is making me wear a dress and heels...and her boyfriend gets mad every time I call my best friend because he's usually on top of her when I do…" she said as she wiped her face with a napkin.

"But we all love you, Em," I said, still giggling. Matthew's mouth fell open in disbelief.

"You're even more beautiful when you're embarrassed, Bruiser," said Kelly, as he wrapped his arm around her neck and kissed her on top of the head.

We finished our brunch and said our goodbyes to Kelly and Em. As they drove away, I asked Matthew if we could visit my father for a few minutes. We made the drive to Lakeshore and took the elevator up to the second floor. He had been moved out of the ICU and into a regular room, which eased my mind about him being released from the hospital this week.

"Hey, baby girl! What a nice surprise," said Dad as Matthew and I walked into his room. I gave him a big hug and sat down on his bed.

"How are you feeling, Daddy?" I asked.

""I feel great, baby girl. Better than I have in a long time," he said. He looked healthy and strong and ready for anything.

"Have you seen the doctor since Friday?" I asked.

"Nope...no doctors, but I was visited by a friend of a friend of yours yesterday," he said.

"A friend of a friend? Who?" I asked, curious to know.

"He never told me his name, but he said he knew you and hoped that both of us were doing well," he said. I could feel my heart begin to pound faster.

"Did you recognize him?" asked Matt, who now looked concerned.

"No, but he was a big fella. Nice enough. Shook my hand before he left," said Dad.

"What time did he visit?" I asked.

"Around 3:00 yesterday afternoon, I think," he answered.

"OK, Daddy...Matthew and I are going to stock the house with groceries so you'll have food when you get home. The home health aide will be coming on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays to help you," I said, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah yeah...but I don't…" he started to say before I cut him off.

"DON'T argue with me. It's a done deal," I said.

"You should know better than to argue with her, Jim," said Matt.

"Yeah, I should. Stubborn as the day is long, that one….but I'm sure you already know that," said Dad.

"Let's just say I pick my battles," said Matthew, smirking.

"If you two are done critiquing my temperament, I'd like to leave now to get your groceries," I said.

"You know it's done with love, baby girl," he said as I kissed his cheek and hugged him again.

"Yeah, yeah," I said.

"Any chance you'll get me some of those cream-filled chocolate cupcakes I like so much?" he asked.

"Dream on, Daddy," I said.

"I knew that was a long shot. Just don't get me any of that shredded wheat. I hate that crap," he said.

As Matthew and I went down in the elevator, I couldn't stop thinking about the mysterious visitor. As we walked past the reception desk, I stopped.

"Hi, Joyce. Were you on the desk yesterday?" I asked,

"Hi, Ms. Coventry. Yes, I was...until 5:00. Why?" she asked.

"Can I see the visitor register please?" I said. She looked confused as she handed me the log book. All visitors to Lakeshore were required to obtain a visitor pass, sign in and indicate the time they arrived, where they were going and why. Matthew and I scanned Saturday's list together. My finger trailed down the long list of names on every page only to see that no one had registered to see my father all day.

"Do you remember anyone signing in to see James Coventry in 212 West yesterday?" I asked, hoping she'd remember someone.

"No, Ms. Coventry...I don't recall anyone coming to see your father, but I was called away from the desk for about ten minutes just before 3:00," said Joyce. I tried not to let my face give away how scared I was. Matthew and I still had over 12 hours left to our weekend off together. I would tell him everything tomorrow, just like I'd promised Em I would.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

As we walked around Dominick's picking up groceries for my father, I was fighting the urge to tell Matthew everything that had happened. Was I being a complete idiot for not telling him because I didn't want to spoil our weekend or was I overreacting to the whole situation? It could have been a series of coincidences, but my gut told me otherwise. The struggle between doing the responsible thing and the selfish thing was doing my head in.

"Hey...you wanna tell me where are you right now?" I heard Matthew's soft voice say. I had been pushing the grocery cart and staring straight ahead, not uttering a single word.

"On a beach in Fiji sipping a tropical drink out of a coconut," I said with a smile.

"You're starting our honeymoon without me?" he said.

"It wouldn't exactly be a honeymoon without you, now would it Lieutenant," I said.

"That's very true...but after all the crap we've been through, no two people deserve to get away more than we do. It'll be here soon enough, Maddy...and it will be amazing. I promise," he said, as he pulled me into a hug. The feel of his arms around me made me feel protected, but I still couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom. We finished our shopping at headed to the check-out

"Really, Matthew?" I said as I held up a box of the cream-filled cupcakes my father had mentioned.

"What can I say? I felt sorry for the guy...and one box won't hurt him," he said, with that "come on, you know I'm right" face of his.

We drove to my father's house and Matthew put the groceries away while I changed the sheets on Dad's bed, tidied up the house, did a load of laundry and wrote out instructions for the home health aide who would be starting on Wednesday.

"You take good care of him, Maddy...your mom would be proud," said Matthew, looking over my shoulder as I sat at my father's oak writing desk.

"He needs someone to take good care of him for once….and no she wouldn't be," I said without looking up from what I was writing. He rubbed my shoulders and leaned down to kiss the back of my head.

"It's getting late, Maddy, it's after 5:00," said Matthew softly as he continued to rub my shoulders. I put my pen down and rubbed my eyes for a few seconds before turning around in my seat.

" Right…and we have a date, don't we?" I said, grinning at him.

He had a wicked little grin on his face that sent shockwaves through my entire body. Up until now, my sex life had gone from "_OK let's get this over to see what all the hype is about" _to "_doing my wifely duty without vomiting"_ to "_having sex because I haven't had any in three years and I have needs and he's really pretty"._ But with Matthew, I finally knew what "making love" meant, as corny as that sounded. Sex was something I looked forward to now instead of thinking it was something I had to do out of a twisted sense of obligation or something I should do because people will think I'm weird if I don't.

Matthew grabbed Dad's mail and newspapers before we locked up the kitchen door. He tossed the mail onto the dashboard of his truck on top of some other mail that was already lying there.

"You wanna order a pizza or maybe some Chinese for dinner?" I asked as we walked into the foyer.

"Nah...I'd rather have you for dinner," said Matthew as he pulled me into his arms and gave me a kiss that reached my toes. He had been insatiable this weekend and it had suited my all consuming need to be the center of his attention.

"My my my, Lieutenant...you're quite the horny boy lately. I hope it doesn't wear off before we're married," I said, as my fingers played with the hair on the back of his head.

"That's not even possible, Maddy...I love you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything in this world," he said.

"I love you too...almost as much as I love a nice bowl of sesame chicken and rice," I said, trying to keep a straight face. He wrinkled up his nose, then lifted me up over his shoulder and laid me down on the couch.

"You are such a brat!" he said as he laid on top of me.

"I am not! I'm just hungry," I said, with a slightly pouty lip.

"Fine...I'll go order some Chinese and we'll eat, then I'm taking you upstairs to our bed and having my way with you," he said, quickly kissing me before he got up and went into the kitchen.

"Don't forget the spring rolls, Casey...or you'll be having your way with your hand tonight," I called out to him. He suddenly appeared in the doorway between the dining room and kitchen holding a takeout menu and wearing his other famous "_I can't believe you just said that" _face. While he called our order in, I went upstairs and changed into a pair of jean cut-offs and one of Matthew's muscle t-shirts. The heat of the approaching summer had settled in the upper floor of the house. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and plugged my phone in to charge. No more calls from blocked numbers since yesterday. Maybe it was over and whoever it was had finally gotten the message. I ran back down the stairs to have dinner and spend the last few hours of the weekend with my handsome fireman.

"Wow," said Matthew as I walked through the living room. He got up from the couch and followed me into the kitchen.

"Do you know where that bottle of plum wine is?" I asked, leaning into the refrigerator.

"Jesus, Maddy...don't bend over like that," he said. I could feel the heat of his body on the backs of my thighs as he moved in behind me.

"Found it!" I said, standing upright and holding the bottle of wine up in the air.

"I found something too," said Matthew as he grabbed my ass.

"You're fresh, Lieutenant," I said as I turned around and slapped at his hands.

"Ouch!" he said, shaking his hand. He then followed me into the dining room and watched me as I reached for two wine glasses from the china cabinet. I walked into the living room, deliberately swinging my ass from side to side as I moved. I set the glasses and wine down on the coffee table. I turned around to see him standing in front of me, looking at me like lion looks at a gazelle.

"What's up, Casey?" I said, deliberately leading him on. I could see the visible bulge in jeans as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"It's hot in here," he said as he threw his shirt on the floor and unbuttoned his jeans.

"It certainly is," I said, pulling my own t-shirt off and tossing it on top of his and unbuttoned my cut-offs. He stood there motionless, staring at my bare breasts for what seemed like forever before he came straight at me and tackled me on to the couch.

"You're a tease, Coventry," he said after he kissed me hard on the mouth.

I know...and you love it," I said as I leaned up and kissed him again.

"I want you...now," he groaned into my mouth as his hands grasped my breasts. As he moved between my legs, the doorbell rang.

"Go answer the door, LIeutenant," I said. He had a look of total disappointment and frustration on his face and I actually thought I heard him growl as he got up and buttoned himself up. I pulled my t-shirt back on and he returned a few minutes later with our food. He set it out on the coffee table as I poured the plum wine into the glasses.

"Mmmmm...this sesame chicken tastes so good," I said as I shoveled it into my mouth.

"Here's your spring rolls," he said. He pushed the white box towards me.

"Ooooo...your hand can rest easy tonight," I said as I picked one up and took a bite.

"I haven't seen you this playful in a long time, baby," he said.

"Well...my dad is better now...and having you home for two whole days to myself makes me playful," I said.

"It looks good on you," he said.

"So do you, baby," I said.

"Ooooooh…hot," he whispered.

"Where's my Dad's mail? I wanna go through it before tomorrow, in case I have to make a few phone calls," I said.

"It's on the table," said Matthew, pointing his chopsticks towards the dining room. I swallowed the last of my wine before getting up. I brought the pile of envelopes and catalogs back into the living room. I rifled through them as I finished my sesame chicken, separating the junk mail and throwing in on the floor.

"Jesus, there must me half a dozen golf and hunting magazine here," I said, stacking them all up.

"It must be something he's interested in," said Matt.

"He's never played golf or killed anything more than a spider in his entire life!" I said. We both laughed as I continued to go through the mail. I stopped suddenly as I came upon an envelope that had already been ripped open. Matthew's writing was all over the back of the envelope. I turned it over and saw that it was addressed to me. I read the return address and recognized it as the envelope that Matthew made me put down the morning we came home from the hospital when my father had first been admitted.

_Marsten, Dodd and McElroy, Attorneys at Law_

_523 E. 72nd Street_

_New York, New York 12110_

These were the attorneys that Stephen had always used when we were married. My heart began to thump as I pulled the letter out of the envelope and began to read.

_June 4, 2013_

_Ms. Coventry:_

_This letter is to inform you that our client, Mr. Stephen P. Gage, is exercising his legal right to seize all property that was acquired by you and/or transferred to you during your marriage, dated from May 13, 2005 until it was dissolved by a divorce decree dated April 7, 2010._

_The property in question is located at:_

_**1427 Highland Park Road, Chicago IL **_

_Mr. Gage has requested a meeting with you to discuss the details. Our client is intent on regaining his rightful property without undue contest. Please contact our office on or before July 15, 2013 to set up an appointment. If you are not able to travel to New York at this time, other arrangements can be made. If you wish to be represented by your own legal counsel, during this meeting, please feel free to do so._

_Regards,_

_Nathan R. Marsten, Esq._

_Attorney at Law_

I sat there, staring at the letter and not really believing what I was reading. Stephen had given me that building on our first wedding anniversary, saying he intended to have it refurbished into luxury apartments…one of which he said he would give to my parents. The project was stalled for several years due to difficulties in obtaining the rezoning orders. I had forgotten about it until now. Since I had moved back to Chicago, I had not received any bill for property taxes and I had assumed it went up for auction. What troubled me more was why Matthew had kept this from me. I tried to read the notes he had scribbled on the back of the envelope, but could only make out phone numbers and a few other figures.

"Ummm...Matthew...can you explain this?" I said, holding the letter out to him. He swallowed down some wine before looking at what I had in my hand. When he saw what I was holding, his face went pale.

"Where did you find that?" he asked.

"In my father's mail. What is this all about, Matthew? Why didn't you tell me about this?" I said.

"It came when your father was first admitted to the hospital. I didn't want you to have to deal with this on top of everything else," he said.

"So…..you just decided to handle this without knowing anything about it and without asking me?" I said. I could feel my anger rising.

"I just thought I could take care of it for you," he said.

"But you know relatively little about my life with Stephen or my personal dealings with him...and you certainly know nothing about Stephen himself. What made you think you could do this without me? You're playing with fire here," I said, my voice starting to rise.

"It wasn't like that, Maddy," he said.

"The hell it wasn't, Matthew! When are you going to realize that I am not that 17 year old girl who was constantly under her mother's thumb? I am an adult and I can take care of herself. I don't need your help," I shouted as I jumped up from the couch.

"Maddy...calm down," he said, taking me by the arms. Whenever he said that to me, it just made me even more furious.

"Don't tell me to calm down! I am not a child. You had no right to do this, Matthew...no right," I said, jerking myself away from him.

"I'm your fiance, Maddy...I don't have the right to take care of business for you?" he asked. I could tell he was angry now too.

"We aren't married yet, Matthew...and don't just assume you can take control of everything once we are either," I said, as I started up the stairs. Matthew followed close behind me.

"That's not what I was trying to do, goddammit!" he shouted.

"Just how far did you get, Matthew? Did you talk it over with Stephen? Did you discuss things rationally and settle it?" I said, knowing full well that that was impossible.

"No...he refused to talk to me," he said.

"What a surprise," I said sarcastically. I gathered a few things out of the bathroom, then picked up my nightie from the chair in the corner. I walked past Matthew and across the hall into the spare bedroom.

"Maddy, please...I was only trying to protect you," he said, his voice calming slightly.

"I don't need you to protect me and the sooner you understand that, the better," I said as I turned down the covers on the bed in the spare room.

"So you're sleeping in here tonight?" he asked.

"It looks that way," I said.

"Christ, Maddy….don't do this," he said sounding frustrated.

"This is not what I thought we'd be doing tonight, Matthew...I thought we'd be making love and falling asleep in each others arms….but what you've done goes beyond my comprehension...and it makes me think that maybe we don't know each other well enough to get married," I said. I was angry and sad and defiant and close to breaking out into a full blown sob-fest….all at once.

"Please tell me you don't mean that," he said, his voice cracking slightly.

"Just go, Matthew...I need to be alone now," I said. I wasn't sure if I wanted to wrap my arms around him or slap his face. He looked upset as he turned to leave. He said nothing as he closed the door behind him. I sat down on the bed and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself enough to think. Maybe what I had said was true...perhaps we didn't know each other as well as we thought we did. After all, we had spent 16 years apart, leading separate lives...and we had only been back together for a few months. There was still a lot to learn about both of us. I began to cry. I wanted to marry him more than anything in the world, but I couldn't live my life having him control everything and not involving me. I had already been married to a man that had done that and when that marriage ended, I vowed never to let another man do that to me….and Matthew would be no exception.

I could hear Matthew's foot steps coming back up the stairs as I crawled into bed. Part of me wanted him to come back into the spare bedroom and make love to me like we had intended, but the other part of me wanted him to think about what he'd done and to realize how serious it was to me. As I drifted off to sleep, I suddenly heard the sound of Matthew's voice and breaking glass.

"Goddammit it, Maddy!" he shouted. I pictured him throwing something across the room and I knew then and there that this would not be resolved soon.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

I rolled over in bed and automatically reached out for Matthew, but when I didn't find him, I remembered I was in the spare bedroom. I rolled back over to look at the clock. 4:57 AM. Great. This was going to be an incredibly long day. As I laid there, contemplating how I would get ready for work without encountering Matthew, I thought back to our fight. I was still furious at him for opening my mail and taking charge of a situation that he knew nothing about. That was Stephen all over again and it sent chills up my spine. I knew in my heart that Matthew was nothing like him, but my head made it difficult to rectify. Matthew was right...I was impossible sometimes, but I couldn't help it.

I rolled out of bed and tiptoed down the hallway to the spare bathroom to shower. Matthew would be getting up in about an hour and I wanted to be out of the house by then. How ridiculous was it that we had spent years apart, but still pined for one another...and now I was engaged to marry him, yet trying to avoid seeing him? I sometimes marveled at how my mind worked. I jumped in the shower, washing quickly and praying that the sound of the water hammer didn't wake him up. I had no idea of his frame of mind at the moment. I knew he was upset that I chose to sleep in the spare room; that was obvious. I had no idea, however, of what made him smash something in the bedroom. He rarely let his temper loose, but when he did it was explosive.

I toweled off my hair and wrapped a second towel around me before going back to the spare room. After rifling through the closet, I came to the stark realization that the only clothes in it were for autumn and winter. Since it was already warm and muggy, I resigned myself to the idea that I would have to go into our bedroom to get appropriate clothing. I quickly combed my hair, then tiptoed across the hallway and into our bedroom. I managed to open the door and walk to the closet without too much noise. I could see the shape of Matthew's body underneath the covers. Part of me wanted to snuggle up next to him and the other part wanted to push him out of bed. It was then and there that I knew I wouldn't be able to stay angry at him when he was in close proximity. I chose an outfit and shoes in record time, grabbed my make-up and headed towards the door. As I reached for the doorknob, I heard Matthew turn over in bed. I momentarily froze, thinking he would wake up and see me, but luckily he only grunted and rolled over again.

As I got dressed, I was confident that I could be ready for work and out of the house within the next twenty minutes. I needed coffee in the worst way, but would stop at the Starbuck's on my way to work rather than making it at home. I had forgotten to grab my curling iron, so I opted to put my hair up in a French twist. I took my shoes in my hand and quietly walked down the stairs. I stopped at the top of the stairs and glanced at our bedroom door. _Stop being so stubborn, Madeleine...forgive him and go kiss him goodbye_ I heard my inner voice say. I would definitely be shutting that bitch up shortly with a chocolate chip muffin. I loved the man behind that door, but I was mad and I was going to stay mad...and Matthew would know the reason why and remember it for the rest of our lives together. I panicked momentarily, thinking maybe Matthew had changed his mind about marrying me. After all, I did tell him I that maybe we didn't know each other well enough to get married. Maybe after our argument, he now felt the same way. I wouldn't blame him if he did. If he did feel that way now, I didn't want to know right now. I needed to go to work and get some distance from our fight and the emotions and words that were spilled out on the floor. He would be on shift for the next twenty-four hours and that would give us both ample time to cool off.

I walked as softly as I could down each step, remembering that the third step from the bottom squeaked. I carefully stepped over it only to lose my footing and nearly falling on my ass. My shoes went flying in two different directions, clattering to the floor along with the comb in my hair. I straightened myself up, re-twisted my hair and picked up my shoes. As I walked through the small hallway that led to the kitchen to get my purse and car keys, I could see the glow from the cook light over the stove. Matthew must have forgotten to turn it off before going to bed last night. I walked into the kitchen only to be startled by Matthew standing at the counter. He was in a pair of jeans, had no shirt on and was barefoot. He was pouring a cup of coffee for himself and hadn't yet seen me. I walked as quietly as I could into the breakfast nook to retrieve my purse and keys from the table. As I turned to leave, he turned around.

"You're up early," he said, taking a sip of his coffee. I couldn't tell by the sound of his voice what kind of mood he was in. I scanned him quickly, starting with his face and moving down to his jeans, which were not buttoned. The hair on his chest and stomach always drove me to the edge of insanity and today was no exception. My eyes traveled down below his belly button and to the top of his pubic hair. I could feel the familiar throbbing between my legs, defying the anger I still felt towards him. I tried not to look too long at him or I would forget that I was ever upset with him.

"So are you," I said, looking away as quickly as I could manage.

"I didn't sleep well," he said.

"Uh huh," was all I said. I wasn't biting.

"Coffee?" he asked.

"Ummm...no. I'll stop at Starbuck's on my way to work," I said, not meeting his eyes.

"You're off to work already?" he asked. I could only manage to nod at him. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and was afraid I would start crying if I looked at him or attempted to speak. It was an interesting experience being so goddamn mad at someone that you loved more than your own life. I didn't like it. I walked back into the living room, put my purse and keys on the table in the foyer, then sat on the couch to put on my shoes. Matthew followed me and stood directly in front of me, his unbuttoned jeans in my direct eyeline. I buckled my sandals and got up from the couch to get my purse. I could feel Matthew move in close behind me.

"Maddy...please look at me," he said in a soft voice. I took a deep breath in and against my better judgment, I slowly turned around to face him. He looked weary and his eyes were bloodshot, but he was still so beautiful that my heart jumped as my eyes met his.

"What is it, Matthew? I have to go," I said defiantly. The words coming out of my mouth were betraying the thoughts going through my head. All I wanted him to do was apologize, say he understood why I was upset with him, promise to never do it again and then carry me upstairs to make love to me like we had planned to last night.

"You're still mad at me," he stated succinctly.

"Yes, I am," I said.

"You can't stay mad at me forever," he said moving in closer to me.

"Try me," I said, challenging him. He set his coffee down on the foyer table, took my hands in his and then pushed me back towards the wall. He lifted one arm above my hand and held it firmly in place. He leaned in close, brushing his lips over mine until he finally covered my mouth with his, kissing me slowly, softly and deeply. I melted under the feel of his lips sliding over mine. I wanted to fight him but I couldn't. My legs were shaking underneath me and every nerve ending in my body sizzled as his relentless attack on my mouth continued. His other hand slowly guided mine down the front of his open jeans and onto his semi-erect penis.

"Goddamn you, Matthew," I said, pulling out of his grasp and wiping my mouth with my hand. My anger flared like someone had poured gasoline on a brush fire. He had an annoyed, but confused look on his face.

"What the hell do you want from me, Maddy?" he said, throwing his arms up in the air.

"If you have to ask, then you don't know me at all," I spat out.

"So we're back to that, are we? We don't know each other well enough to get married. Yeah...you already said," he said.

"You just don't get it, do you?" I said, shaking my head.

"Get what? That you don't think we should get married because I tried to help you? No...I don't get that," he shouted.

"No, Matthew...for not recognizing the reason I'm angry, for not even acknowledging it! What's worse is that you aren't even aware that what you just did trivialized everything I'm feeling right now," I said. I was so angry that I was shaking.

"Let me get this straight...I wanted to make love to you and that's made you even more angry than you were before?" he said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Oh come on, Matthew...admit it...you wanted to make love to me in the hopes that I would somehow magically forget our fight. Lying about your motives now only further belittles me. You seem to keep forgetting that I am way past the 'impressionable teenage girl who forgives you because you show her your pee pee' stage. Grow up, for Christ's sake," I said.

"That's not what I was trying to do," he said, rubbing his forehead.

"With all due respect...bullshit, Lieutenant," I said. I picked up my purse and car keys and opened the front door. Just as I pulled it open, Matthew came up behind me and slammed it shut again.

"Is this how you want to leave things, Maddy...right before I go on shift for the next twenty-four hours?" he said.

"Don't play the firefighter card, Matthew…it's cheap," I said.

I yanked the door as hard as I could and he backed away from me. I got into my car and looked back at the front door. He was standing there just staring at me through the screen. I backed out of the driveway, loving him and hating him at the same time. What I needed right now was a tall strong cup of coffee, something sweet and gooey to go with it and my best friend to talk to. I looked at the car clock...6:25 AM...Em would just be rolling out of bed about now. I decided to call her cell anyway. I got her voicemail.

"_Hey Em...it's Maddy. I know you're due in at 8:00, but if there is any way you could come in a little earlier, I would appreciate it. I'm bringing Starbuck's if that's any incentive. It's not work related...I just really need to talk to my best bud right now. Whatever time you do get in, could you come straight to my office? Thanks, babe…."_

I pulled into Starbuck's parking lot and sat in my car for a few minutes before going inside. My head was swirling with thoughts and emotions that I couldn't stop. My mother was right about one thing...nothing worth having ever comes easy. She certainly made me fight everyday for respect and my independence. Our ways of thinking couldn't have been more opposite; she demanded respect simply because she had given birth to me, yet did nothing to earn it. I, on the other hand, had to do everything in my power to gain her respect because children should be seen and not heard, and as such, I was expected to act as though she was always right and I was always wrong. She had a grand exalted view of herself simply because she had reproduced. I once told her that pigs reproduce too, but it doesn't make them the goddamn Queen of England. My mouth and her misdirected sense of self-importance mixed about as well as oil and water.

I loaded the front seat of my car with two large coffees, cheesecake brownies, cinnamon rolls and cheese danish, then drove to Lakeshore praying that Em would show up early so I didn't scoff everything out of frustration. Many more fights with Matthew and I would need to have my wedding dress altered to allow for my ever expanding ass to fit into it. I glanced at the clock in the lobby before getting on the elevator. It was 7:15. Still too early for Em to be there, even if she jumped in the car the minute she got my message. I unlocked my office and set the food down on the table in front of the couch before checking emails and messages. I took my cell phone out of my purse and laid it on my desk. No messages from Matt or Em...yet. I had the distinct feeling that Matthew was going to play this one stubbornly. I was scrolling through my emails when I heard a ruckus just outside my door.

"What the hell is wrong, Mads? Are you OK?," said Em as she ran into my office. Her hair was wet, her shoes were in her hand, her backpack was slung over her shoulder and she was dressed in sweatpant shorts and a Spongebob t-shirt.

"Jesus, Em….did you come here straight from bed?" I said, looking at her.

"More or less. I did shower though and I have a change of clothes in my bag. Now tell me what's going on," she said as she set everything down on the floor. I handed her a coffee and proceeded to give her the Reader's Digest version of what happened. She listened patiently while shoveling a cinnamon roll into her mouth.

"Tell me honestly...do you think I'm overreacting?" I asked.

"Well yes...and no...he had no right to open your mail, Mads….fiance or not. Did he apologize?" she said.

"No...and that's the main reason I'm so pissed off. It's like he thinks he did nothing wrong," I said.

"He's being a neanderthal, plain and simple," she said.

"His behavior about this whole thing reminds me of Stephen...only Stephen wouldn't try to distract me with sex. His tactic was jewelry. I always got some type of bling everytime we had a fight," I said.

"Not a bad deal," she said, licking her fingers. I rolled my eyes at her, then rubbed my face. The last twelve hours had been a blur and it was doing my head in.

"Babes, you know Matthew is nothing like Stephen. I don't have to tell you that. Matthew loves you like crazy. I'm sure that he was only thinking he was helping you...not taking over your life," she said, rubbing my knee.

"You think I should apologize to him instead of him apologizing to me?" I asked.

"Fuck no! He opened your mail and that's a federal offence," she said.

"That's the least of my concerns, Em. It's what he did after he opened that letter that made me mad. I told him that maybe we didn't know each well other enough to get married," I said sheepishly.

"You did WHAT?" said Em, sounding completely stunned.

"I was pissed off and wanted to prove my point! It was a moment of weakness," I said, trying to defend myself.

"It was a moment of dumb-assness. No two people were meant to be together more than you and Casey! Sometimes you are so frigging mean, Madeleine!" yelled Em, as she punched me in the arm.

"Ow! Jesus, Emily...that hurt!" I said, rubbing my upper arm.

"Good. I wanted it to hurt," she said, grinning at me.

"I don't know what to do. Wait for an apology that may never come? Swallow my pride and apologize to him? I hate being in limbo like this," I said.

"I think you both need to apologize to each other. Him for opening your mail and not telling you about the situation...and you for overreacting to it. It's all very simple to me," she said.

"I guess we'll see how it all plays out soon enough. Hey, you wanna come over tonight and have dinner with me?" I said, changing the subject.

"Yeah, sure. Hey...do you want me to cook for a change?" she said.

"Do I want ptomaine poisoning? No...we'll order out, if you don't mind. Now get to work, slacker...it's after 9:00," I said. Em blew her customary raspberries at me and picked up her coffee and a brownie before going to her desk.

At 3:30, I locked up my office to head home. I stopped at Katie's desk to remind her that I wouldn't be in until 9:00 tomorrow morning and to make sure any morning appointments were rescheduled to the afternoon. I walked over to Em's cubicle but she wasn't there. I left her a note telling her to come to my house around 6:00 and to remind her that she was expected to attend a meeting tomorrow at 2:00 with me and the father of a child that had been brought into the ER last week. Em had submitted a report to DFCS of suspected abuse and the father was now refuting it and had requested to meet with me and the social worker who had reported the abuse. As I walked to my car, I pulled out my cell phone. Still no messages from Matthew. I came close to calling him at least a dozen times throughout the day, but never carried through with any of them.

I drew a bath when I got home to help soak away some of the tension that had built up in my neck and shoulders over the course of the day. I set my phone on the edge of the tub, leaned back against the bath pillow and closed my eyes. I thought back to yesterday morning when Matthew and I had been in the bath together, talking about our wedding and making plans for Sunday afternoon. Without thinking about it too much, I picked up my phone and began to call him. I had decided to give in and be the bigger person. Just as I was touching the first few numbers, my phone vibrated in my hand. The caller ID said it was Matthew. My heart began to pound and I wasn't sure why.

"Hey," I answered.

"Baby, this is so stupid. We spent far too long apart from each other to let stuff like this push us apart now. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you about the letter. It was wrong of me, but I swear I wasn't doing it as some sort of control thing. I only wanted to ease some of the burden you were already feeling when your Dad was sick," he said, without taking a breath.

"I'm sorry too. I overreacted and if I had stopped to think about it before opening my mouth, I would have realized that you really only meant well. I picked up my phone at least 12 times today to tell you that," I said, wiping a few tears away.

"So did I. It's been eating at me all day. Just please tell me that you didn't mean what you said about us not knowing each other well enough to get married," he asked.

"Of course I didn't mean it. I was angry and it just came out," I said. I heard him take in a deep breath and blow it out. He said nothing for a few seconds.

"That's a relief because I can't imagine my life now without you," he said.

"Neither can I, Matt. Just please promise you'll never make decisions about something that affects us without including me. That's all that I need to hear," I said.

"I promise to never make decisions that affect us without you. You have my word. I love you far too much and respect you too much to do that," he said. He couldn't have said it any better than that. I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders as the words flowed out of his mouth and began to cry.

"Baby...are you OK?" I heard him say.

"Yeah...I just wish you were here now...shoving my hand down the front of your pants again," I said. He started to laugh and as I wiped my tears away, so did I.

"Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh...my sweet, beautiful, impossible Maddy...you drive me insane, you know that?" he said.

"I know. I'm just trying to keep you on your toes so you don't get bored," I said, grinning.

"Not in a million years, Maddy," he said.

"I love you, Matthew,' I said.

"I love you too. I'll call you before you go to bed and I'll see you tomorrow morning,. You're still going in late, right?" he said.

"Yeah...leaving here around 8:30, so we'll see each other for a few minutes, I guess," I said.

"OK, baby...bye for now," he said.

" Bye, handsome," I said and ended the call. My gorgeous firefighter fiance hadn't let me down. God, how I loved him.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

As I was out in the kitchen rifling through the pile of take out menus that were clipped to the side of the refrigerator, I heard the doorbell ring. The clock on the stove said 5:43...way too early for Em. I had told her to come at 6:00, which means she would show up at 6:15 or later. The funny thing was, she took pride in showing me whenever she bought herself a new Swatch, but she rarely ever looked at it or used its time-giving abilities to avoid being late to anything. Imagine my shock when I see Em standing at the front door with her hands full of various take out bags.

"How the hell did you ring the bell? With your foot?" I asked as I opened the door to let her in.

"My foot? That would be barbaric! I used my nose," she said as she set the bags she was holding down on my dining room table.

"Yeah...because that's way more civilized. What's all this?" I asked as I looked at the array of food spread across my grandmother's linen table cloth.

"I brought a smorgasbord!" she said as she splayed her arms over the top of the pile of bags, like one of Barker's Beauties showing off a bread machine up for bids on "The Price is Right".

"You must have gone all over Chicago for this," I said, opening up a bag from McDonald's and pulling out Chicken McNuggets.

"I've got all of our favorite bad foods...McDonald's Chicken McNuggets, Nathan's Cheese & Bacon fries, White Castle Sliders with cheese, Burger King onion rings and cinnamon crunch scones from Panera for breakfast tomorrow. Please tell me that you've got all of our favorite bad alcohol," she said.

"I have some plum wine, prosecco, coconut rum and sangria...but only if you remembered the barbecue sauce for the Chicken McNuggets," I said. She dug into the front pockets of her shorts and threw three containers at me, then proceeded to raid my refrigerator.

"What? No beer?" she said as she moved things around in the refrigerator.

"Matt keeps them on the bottom shelf towards the back . So you're planning on staying the night, then?" I said as I took two plates out the cupboard.

"We haven't had a girl's sleepover since Casey moved in and since he and Severide are both on shift, I thought it would be OK," she said.

"Of course it's OK...but I won't be able to log you in at 8:00 tomorrow if you're late. I'm not going in until 9:00," I said.

"Why are you coming in late?" she asked.

"Matthew and I are meeting with the events planner at The Drake tomorrow at 7:00, so I thought I'd go in later so I could work later and meet him there without using personal time," I said.

"Did you two talk yet?" she asked.

"As a matter of fact, we did. He called me when I was taking a bath," I said.

"Oooooo….phone sex!" she said with a smirk on her face.

"Oh God, Emily...no, it was a grown up discussion," I said.

"It's been my experience that grown up discussions are boring unless you're talking about sex," she said.

"That's because until recently, the majority of your discussions have been with men on the other end of 900 numbers," I said.

"You're funny...and eerily accurate. Now let's eat," she said.

"So you and Severide...any idea where that's going yet?" I asked as I licked melted cheese off of my fingers and took a sip of plum wine.

"Not really...I mean, I try not to think about it too much," she said.

"You must be relieved to know that Renee's baby is not his," I said.

"Yeah, I am. Things would have been a lot more complicated if he had turned out to be the father...but I think he's a little sad about it to be honest," she said.

"That's normal, I guess. He cared about her at one time. He cares about you now...you could always give him a baby," I said. I was serious but I knew what her answer would be.

"Oh please...you and I both know I would end up diapering its head. I am not mother material," she said.

"Things change, Em. Look at Matthew and me. If I had known you five or six years ago and you knew our history, would you have thought he and I would ever be together now?" I said.

"Point taken, Madeleine...now pour some more wine and follow me into the living room," she said as she pulled a DVD of "Some Like it Hot" out of her overnight bag.

"Ooooo...a perfect way to end the evening...almost," I said as I ran back into the kitchen. I came back with the leftover brownies from Panera and a bag of chocolate drizzled caramel popcorn.

"Mine!" exclaimed Em as she grabbed the bag of popcorn from my hands. About thirty minutes into the film, Em turned to me.

"Did you tell Matt about the phone calls?" she asked between mouthfuls of popcorn.

"We weren't exactly speaking until a couple of hours ago," I said.

"So that's a no, then," she said.

"Yes...no," I said.

"Call him….now," she said.

"He's on shift, Em," I said knowing full well that was a lame excuse.

"So?" she said.

"It's after 8:00...he may be trying to sleep," I said in mild protest.

"He can always go back to sleep. Call him," she said, handing me her phone.

"He'll panic if he sees your number. I'll use my phone, if you don't mind," I said as I got up from the couch. Em paused the movie as I called.

"_Hey baby! I was just thinking about you,"_ said Matthew's voice as he answered.

"Do you have a few minutes to talk or are in the middle of something?" I asked.

"_I was just headed back to my quarters to catch some sleep, but it can wait. What's up?" _he said.

"I just wanted to tell you something. It's probably nothing, but Em thinks it's important so I'm calling you to shut her up," I said, poking my tongue out at her.

"_OK...shoot,"_ he said.

"Over the last few weeks, I've been…." I said, but was quickly interrupted by the firehouse tones going off.

"_Sorry, baby….I gotta go. We just got a run. I'll call you when I get back if it's not too late. I love you,"_ he said before ending the call. I put my phone down on the foyer table and sat back down on the couch.

"What the hell, Mads?" said Em.

"The tones went off and he had to leave. He said he'd call me later, if they didn't get back too late," I said. She said nothing...just stared at me while shoving popcorn into her mouth.

"What? I said I'd tell him and I will! Jesus, Em...you're like a drill sergeant," I said.

We finished watching the movie in relative silence, minus Em's crunching. We cleaned up from our fast food feast and walked upstairs to go to bed.

"This is was just like old times, huh babes? We need to do this more often when our guys are on shift," said Em.

"Sounds like a plan to me. A healthy dose of Em is always good for my soul...if not my liver or arteries," I said.

"Night night, Madster. Love you," she said as she gave me a hug goodnight.

"Night, Em...I'll see you in the morning before you leave Don't be late for work tomorrow….I hear your boss is a bitch," I said, giving her a hug back. She screwed up her face and shook her head up and down in a yes motion...then changed it to a no motion. She blew me a kiss before closing the door to the spare bathroom behind her.

I plugged in my phone, brushed my teeth and washed my face, then snuggled up in bed. It was after 10:00 PM and Matthew still hadn't called back. I'd have to tell him sometime tomorrow. Maybe after our meeting at The Drake. I didn't want anything to spoil the excitement of planning our wedding.

I woke to the sound of the shower going on in the bathroom down the hall and quickly glanced at the clock. Em was actually up earlier than she needed to be. I pinched myself to see if I was dreaming. Nope...it hurt. I got out of bed and wrapped my robe around me, then checked my phone. No messages from Matthew. They must of gotten back late from their call. For some reason, I had an overwhelming need to see him. It was almost as if one of us was going on a long trip and wouldn't see each other for a while. I felt a little unsettled as I headed downstairs.

"Coffee in ten, babe," I said as I knocked on the bathroom door.

"OK!" I heard Em call out.

I made the coffee and put two bagels in the toaster as I rummaged through my refrigerator looking for cheese. Em wasn't big on breakfast, but I knew she'd eat this. I grabbed the leftover apple, pear, banana and kiwi from the fruit bowl in the nook, cut them up and mixed them with yogurt and honey for a quick fruit salad. When everything was done, I took it into the dining room. As I was pouring the coffee, Em came down the stairs fully dressed and ready for the day.

"Wow, Em...you look really nice," I said. She had on black jeans, a white tank top and her ever present biker boots. Her hair was pulled back into a tidy ponytail.

"Meaning I look like shit on most other days?" she said.

"Yeah...that's it," I said, rolling my eyes as I handed her a cup of coffee.

"We have that meeting this afternoon with Mr. Arthur and I wanted to look...you know…professional," she said.

"Well you nailed it...apart from the boots. You wanna borrow a pair of my shoes?" I said, smirking.

"I'd break my neck in those things. Besides, I like my boots. They're comfortable and like my security blanket," she said, spit washing the left one with her thumb.

"Then go for it," I said.

"You gonna tell Casey about the phone calls this morning?" she asked.

"Em...I'll probably see him for a total of 3 minutes between the time he gets home and when I have to leave for work. I'll tell him tonight when we come home from The Drake, OK?" I said.

"Don't forget," she said.

"No ma'am...I won't," I said as I saluted her. She poked her tongue out at me as she got up from the table. She gathered her stuff, the keys to her car and headed out the door.

"Leaving for work right on time? You are a changed woman, Emily Morrison," I said.

"You can thank Kelly Severide for that. See you later," she said as she slid into the front seat of her beat up Honda. I watched her drive away, feeling privileged that she considered me her best friend...and also proud of her and the woman she had become in the last few months. As I walked upstairs to get ready for work, I felt blessed, but more anxious to see Matthew than ever. I couldn't shake the odd feeling of being both grounded and like I was walking on the edge of a cliff. If Matthew and I were only going to see each other for a few minutes before I headed to work, I would definitely make them count.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

It was 8:05 and Matthew would be coming home at any minute...or so I hoped. He sometimes would come home later in the morning, especially if he had construction jobs to finish. I needed to see him so badly that I was almost becoming frantic. I could only guess that it was because we had been angry with each other the last time I saw him. If nothing else, I just wanted to kiss that perfect mouth of his for three minutes before leaving for work. That way, I would feel connected to him all day until we were together again for dinner. As I was tying up my wrap dress, I could hear him come in the front door. As I was finishing getting ready, he started up the stairs.

"Hey, you...sorry I didn't call you back last night...we got in around 1:00 this morning," said Matthew as he came into the bedroom.

"You must be tired," I said, eyeing up his perfect lips and completely forgetting the reason I wanted to talk to him last night.

"Nah...slept a good six hours when we got back. I'm good," he said, grinning.

"I've got to go, so kiss me goodbye and make it good because I won't see you again until tonight and I want it to last," I said.

"Mmmmmm...it would be my pleasure," he said as he took me by the waist and pulled me in close to him. His hands gripped me tightly as his mouth pressed against mine. He parted his lips slightly, licking mine with his tongue before pushing them apart and sweeping my mouth. I grabbed onto his back as I could feel my body come alive as he deepened the kiss….so slow, so soft, so wet. I could feel his burgeoning erection poking into my stomach as he held me.

"More," I said softly as he pulled away.

"Jesus, Maddy...what I wouldn't give for you to stay with me...I want to take you to bed so badly right now," he said, his voice thick with passion. I never took my eyes off of him as I pulled my phone out of my purse.

"Hello Katie...this is Madeleine….ummm, some personal business has come up unexpectedly and I'll be coming in later than I anticipated….probably around 1:00. Would you let Ms. Morrison know? Thanks, Katie..." I said before ending the call.

"You can do that?" he asked, cocking his head to the side and giving me an incredulous look.

"I'm the head of the department...I can do anything I want," I said as I untied my dress.

"Come here," he said in a gravelly voice.

He grabbed me by the neck and roughly pulled me back into another kiss. He held both sides of my neck firmly as he flicked his tongue in and out of my mouth. Our lips were locked together, sucking and swirling in perfect unison while his hands pushed my dress off of my shoulders. He undid my bra in one swift movement and slowly pulled it off of me, his lips never leaving mine as it dropped to the floor. His hands moved down to my breasts, his fingertips adeptly stroking with my nipples. I moaned into his mouth as he brushed them with his thumbs. He moved his mouth down to my neck, softly biting my skin as he went. My fingers grasped in his hair as I dropped my head back and mewled softly. He dropped his head down to my breasts, biting and sucking each one in turn before kissing me all the way down my tummy until he was kneeling in front of me. He pressed his face into the front of my panties and kissed the lace trim.

"What do you want, Lieutenant?" I asked looking down at him, my fingers stroking his face lightly. He looked me directly in the eyes as he slowly stood up again.

"I want to fuck you," was all he said. My firefighter could be a rough and dirty guy...and I loved it.

He pulled his shirt off over his head and kissed me again, running his hands up and down my back. The feel of his skin against mine sent shivers throughout my body. His chest hair rubbed against my nipples, making them even more stiff. My hands found their way to his belt and urgently tugged at it to unbuckle it. I unzipped his pants and pushed them down past his hips. I roughly grabbed his erect cock in my hands, pulling and squeezing it, making him groan into my mouth.

"What do you want, baby?" he asked me now.

"I want you to fuck me, Lieutenant," I said brazenly.

"Ooooo, you're such a dirty girl...and you're all mine. Bend over and put your hands down on the bed, baby...and leave your heels on," he said. I gladly did as I was told and I immediately felt his hands on my hips as I bent forward. He pulled my panties down to my knees, then he pushed his hand between my thighs.

"Spread your legs wider," he said. I obeyed his command and moved my legs further apart. I could hear him suck on his fingers before he slid them inside me. I instinctively pushed back against his hand as he slowly moved his fingers in and out of me. The throbbing between my legs was intense now and the rest of my body ached for him. I could see his reflection in the mirror over his dresser as he took his fingers out and sucked them into his mouth.

"So sweet," he said. He leaned down and kissed the middle of my back as he slowly slid himself inside me. I groaned loudly as he began to thrust, holding tightly onto my hips. He reached around the front of me with one hand and lightly rubbed my swollen clitoris. I gripped the bedsheets tightly with each thrust of his hips against my backside. My orgasm hit me as fast and hard as he was thrusting. I could feel it ripple down my inner thighs to my feet as I squeezed him and spasmed around him.

"That's it, baby...come….come hard...let me hear you," he said as I yelled out with each shudder. His grip on my waist tightened and I suddenly felt the familiar hot wet sensation between my legs.

"Oh fuuuuuck," he said as he released spurt after spurt inside me. I collapsed on the bed face down with Matthew falling on top of me. My heart was pounding wildly and I couldn't catch my breath. I could feel Matthew's ragged breathing against my back. His body felt sticky and hot against me. He pulled out of me and slid off of my back and onto the bed, laying his arm across me. He nuzzled his face in close to the back of my neck and kissed it softly.

"Call off work and stay home with me, Maddy," he said softly. I turned over to look at him and pulled his face to mine. I said nothing; just softly kissed and licked his beautiful lips. Tears fell onto my cheeks as I kissed him. I laid my head down on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"As much as I don't want to let you go, I have to. I have a meeting at 2:00 that I can't miss," I said. Matthew turned his head to look at the clock on the bedside table.

"Well...you're still mine for three hours. Come shower with me," he said as he kissed me. He got up from the bed and held out his hand which I took in mine. He led me to the bathroom and turned on the shower. When it was warm enough, we stepped inside. He began to wash my stomach, kissing my neck while he lathered me up.

"Mmmm...this feels good," I said, closing my eyes and leaning back against his chest. His hands slid up to my breasts, soaping them up and rubbing his fingers lightly over my nipples.

"It's like your body was made for me, Maddy. It molds perfectly to mine," he said, softly as he nibbled at my earlobe and slid a soapy hand between my legs. I let out a soft mewl as his fingers gently rubbed over my skin, pushing between my lips and touching my still sensitive clitoris. Without realizing it, I began to rock my pelvis back and forth against the movement of his hand.

"It was," was all I managed to say.

"Looks like your body wants mine again," he said as he slid his soapy fingers over my most private part.

"It does….in time...but it's my turn to wash you now," I said.

I picked up the shower wash and turned around to face him. I squirted some soap into the palm of my hand and rubbed them together, working up a lather. I ran my hands down both arms and across his chest. The feel of his wet chest hair under my hands made me start to throb again. He let out a soft groan as I lightly caressed his nipples with my thumbs. I moved my hands down his tummy as I kissed and licked at his nipples. His groan quickly turned into a gasp as my hands wrapped around cock. I was surprised to find it semi-erect, but began to stroke it slowly.

"Mmmmm….you're quite the stallion, Lieutenant," I said, looking up at him.

"It's what you do to me, Maddy," he said, leaning to down to kiss me. The stream of warm water ran over us as his mouth devoured mine. It reminded me of the time we made love on the picnic table during our camping trip. My fingers clenched in his hair and his hands pulled me in close. Our mouths continued to crush together for several minutes until Matthew placed his hands on my bottom and lifted me up.

"You can't be serious," I said, looking into his eyes and wrapping my legs around him. He said nothing as he backed me against the shower wall.

"I guess you are," I said.

"I want you as often as I can before you have to leave," he said. Just as his lips pressed to mine, the water in the shower turned cold. We both started to shriek and laugh as the freezing water sprayed over us. He set me down and fumbled his way through the cold shower to shut it off. I wrapped a towel around me and stood there watching him. He was completely naked and soaking wet, with his hands on his hips and that familiar "_I'm a contractor and I'm assessing the situation"_ look on his face. I had to suppress the urge to giggle.

"Shit! I think it's the hot water heater. I'll go have a look," he said as he wrapped a towel around him.

"I'll go make you breakfast," I said. I left the towel on as I went downstairs to the kitchen. I immediately spotted the bag from Panera with the cinnamon scones that Em had brought with her last night. She had seemed happy with her bagel and cheese this morning, so hopefully she wouldn't miss them. I made fresh coffee and took out the rest of the fruit salad from the fridge. I could hear Matthew banging away in the basement as he checked the hot water heater. I set everything out on the dining room table and waited for Matthew to join me.

"It's the hot water regulator. I think I have a spare one in my truck," he said as he headed out the back door. I sat at the dining room table and started to laugh, thinking about him going outside in only a towel. He came back in a few minutes later with a very red face.

"Well...I just gave the old lady next door quite a show," he said, grinning. I couldn't help but double over with laughter.

"Did she applaud?" I asked between my giggles. He poked his tongue out at me, then headed back downstairs to fix the hot water heater.

"Is this what we're wearing for breakfast?" he asked, pulling at my towel.

"Are you complaining?" I asked.

"Nope. Not at all," he said, putting his hands up.

"Then sit," I said, pointing to the chair. We ate for a while without talking until I broke the silence.

"Why didn't we ever sleep together when we were in high school?" I asked.

"Mainly because your mother would have had me castrated," he said.

"Hmmmm…" I said.

"I wanted to...believe me...many times," he said.

"I wish we had," I said.

"So do I, Maddy," he said, lifting my hand from the table and holding it in his. I glanced at the clock on the sideboard; we still had a little over two hours before I had to leave for work. If I didn't have that damn meeting this afternoon, I could stay with him and be naked all day.

"By the way, I'm going to call Stephen's lawyer today and take care of this property bullshit so I can get him out of my life once and for all," I said.

"You think he'll let you keep it?" Matt asked.

"I don't really care. I don't want the damn thing anyway...I never did. If he wants it, he can have it," I said, as I started to clear the dishes away. When I came back into the dining room, I could see that familiar look on Matt's face.

"What?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"Nothing...I'm staying out of it. I know you can handle yourself," he said, putting his hands up once again.

"That's more like it, Casey...you're learning," I said, grinning and positioning myself between his legs.

"You drive me crazy. You know that, don't you?" he asked, looking up at me. I nodded my head slowly, not sure where he was going with this train of thought. There was a certain fire in his eyes and the expression on his face was a mixture of frustration, amusement and love.

"In a good or bad way?" I asked, straddling him on the dining room chair.

"Both," he said. I gave him a wicked little grin just before I covered his mouth with mine. I clawed at the back of his neck as I aggressively pushed my tongue into his mouth and sucked on his lips. Something came over me and suddenly my need for him escalated beyond anything I was prepared for….I needed to taste him, touch him, feel his mouth on my breasts, feel his cock inside me, feel the exquisite pain of my orgasm shaking me to my core as he filled me with his white hot seed.

"Do you know how goddamn much I love you, Matthew?" I said, pulling away from my attack on his mouth. His eyes were intense and fiery.

"I do, baby...it's the way I love you...it's...all consuming," he said as he slowly pulled open my towel.

"Tell me you want me, Matthew….tell me your cock is hard for me," I said, in shock of my own words as I took his hand and put it between my legs.

"Oh God, Maddy….yes, baby...yes...I want you...I'm so hard it hurts…" he said, his voice barely above a whisper. I pulled open his towel to reveal his raging erection. I could feel that delightful twinge between my legs as he clamped his hand around it and stroked himself slowly.

"My turn," I said as I lifted my hips and grabbed his cock in my hand. It throbbed against my palm as I rubbed the tip of it across my swollen clitoris and down to my wet place.

"Don't tease me, Maddy...I'm in pain," he said.

"Then say what I want to hear," I said as I continued to play with him.

"Fuck me...fuck me hard," he said. I slid myself down onto his cock, holding onto his shoulders as I slowly rode him in the chair. He grabbed at my breasts and licked them as they bounced in his face. He groaned each time I moved up and down on him. I grabbed his face and kissed him hard on the mouth, riding him faster and making him groan into my mouth. Without warning, he grabbed my ass, lifted me up and set me down on the dining room table. He pushed me down, hoisting my legs over his shoulders and began to thrust hard and deep. I played with my nipples as he thrust faster, his cock brushing against my swollen clitoris over and over until an explosive orgasm enveloped me. I bucked up and down on the hard oak and clawed at the lace tablecloth as I spasmed hard around him.

"Oh God Matthew...oh God," I screamed as powerful ripples continued to rock my body. He quickened his pace with each thrust, shoving himself deeper and harder every time. He placed his hands on my inner thighs and pushed them apart. My calves fell off of his shoulders and dangled in the air as he continued to pound into me. He was harder than I had ever felt him before. His eyes locked on mine and within a few seconds, I could feel the warmth and wetness inside me.

"Oh Christ...uuhhhh...mmmmm….uuuhhhh," he muttered as he emptied himself inside me. I suddenly burst into tears, the rush of emotions and the intensity of our passion overwhelming me. He pulled me up into a tight embrace and I could feel his ragged breathing as he held me against him. I sobbed on his shoulder, digging my nails into the flesh of his arms as he softly stroked my hair.

"Jesus, Maddy...that was...mind blowing," he said, taking me by the arms and looking into my eyes. His breathing was still quite labored and his face was flushed. I nodded at him, not yet able to speak. He brushed the tears on my cheeks away with his thumb, then cupped my face and kissed me tenderly before pulling me into another embrace.

"I wish I didn't have to go," I said quietly.

"Me too," he said before kissing the top of my head. We picked up our towels and walked slowly up the stairs together. He climbed into bed as I got cleaned up and dressed for work.

"Gotta go," I said as I sat down on the edge of the bed next to him.

"You're leaving early," he said.

"I want to see my dad before I go to the office," I said.

"OK baby...I'll see you tonight. Meet me at that little joint on Michigan that we like. Around 5:30?" he said.

"Yeah, OK," I said.

"Come here, you," he said, grabbing my neck and pulling me down towards his face for a kiss. It took every ounce of strength I had to eventually pull away from him. Something inside me felt like this was the last kiss we'd share for a while. We had spent such an intense morning together that I didn't want to leave. I wanted to crawl in bed beside him and wrap my naked body around his and fall asleep to the rhythm of his breathing. I got up from the bed and walked to the bedroom door.

"Hey...what was it that you wanted to talk to me about last night? You never said," he asked.

"It can wait until later," I said, blowing a kiss at him. I turned to walk down the stairs with that same dark cloud over my head.


End file.
